Hikari to Yami: Death Note 100
by Xiana Asuka
Summary: 100 little Death Note stories, based on various prompts! [014 A Little R and R] Their relationship was an interesting one. In the end, it came down to their disagreement about love. [It was stupid anyway.]
1. Lightning

Xiana: It's a bunch of Death Note stories from me, because I'm obsessed! XP That is all.

Oh, by the way, I'm going to be using L, Ryuuzaki, and Ryuuga interchangeably, because... sometimes it sounds better with different names... for him... yeah.

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1. Lightning.

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L had decided long ago that Kira was like lightning. He struck quickly and without warning, and he never needed to hit the same target twice. He was impossible to predict, but possible to direct to specific targets, always with the hopes of discovering Kira's identity in the process. He used criminals as a lightning rod to divert power into the investigation. And just as Benjamin Franklin had discovered electricity, L was sure that he would discover the identity of Kira.

And L was certain he already had.

Yagami Raito was too clever by far, too amazingly deductive, too conspicuously innocent when any investigation of him began. He was methodical in his judgment, like storm clouds roaming steadily over the horizon, but quick to act and speak, like stray sparks jumping from cloud to cloud. And he snapped with a jolt of condensed static when pressured. Their electrifying tennis match had proven that much. Raito was lightning too, and that was why Ryuuzaki knew he was Kira. Certainly, the exact percent was only 6.4, but though it sounded like an excuse, a cliché, L knew in his heart with 100 percent certainty that Raito and Kira were one and the same.

L hated to rely on instinct. He preferred factual evidence, reasonable deductions and solid conclusions. Kira had given him none of those, forcing him to depend on upon intuition. His intuition had never failed him before, so there was only a 2.7 percent chance that he was wrong. And he knew he wasn't.

His apprehension of the Kira-lightning had been detracted by the thunder. The news was full of stories of the day's murders. Kira was everyone's favorite topic of conversation. The Internet was covered with websites dedicated to his "legend," referring to him as a god, a shinigami, an angel sent to punish transgressors for their sins. Every day at the task force office, at least 28 people reported that Kira was someone that they knew, and 15 more declared that they themselves were Kira. Still others phoned in with wild theories, mostly supernatural in nature. One hysterical housewife in Osaka, for instance, had been completely convinced that Kira was a little green man from Mars, and that the deaths of criminals were only a warning that he was coming to abduct her. It had taken Ukita, Aizawa, and Matsuda working together over the duration of two hours to convince her that this was not the case and perhaps she ought to consult a psychologist at her earliest convenience. The low grumbling and muttering that followed every Kira-strike was a ceaseless thundering to L's sensitive ears, a deafening, ever-present roar that nearly eliminated the silent flash of light that marked Kira's trail.

Kira-Raito used the thunder to his own advantage. He hid amongst the crowds, covering his young face with a mask that embodied the fear the criminals of the world held for him. At home, Raito wore a mask as well. However, this was one of duty and loyalty, devotion to his family and his studies. But when Ryuuzaki observed the face of the boy absorbed in his studies, he noted the firm brows, the set chin, the almost fanatically fierce glint to the eyes. Raito was devoted to studying and gaining knowledge in the way that Kira was dedicated to destroying criminals and filling the world with light, as he so ironically put it. In the blink of an eye, the lightning had flashed and the mask had vanished, revealing what L knew to be the reality.

Filling the world with light… a lightning bolt did fill the skies with a piercing glow, but that light was fleeting, a fraction of a fraction of a second long. Kira would be caught, and the world would return to normal. Soon Kira would be forgotten, and the world's attention would turn to other matters. Kira would die. Hopefully, his corrupted ideals would die with him.

It was hard to admit it even to himself, but L didn't want to kill Kira… Raito. He enjoyed their little game, enjoyed the challenge, the bleak failure and hopelessness he experienced when Kira raced ahead, the sweet triumph when he was in the lead. It had been so long since he had ever been at a loss for anything, and it was almost a relief to be able to try new tactics, to display weakness, to feel defeat when Kira trumped him. There is nothing like constant success to create boredom, and if one is to be challenged, to maintain interest in his game, he must lose a battle here and there. After all, L knew that he would win the war in the end. It was a shame that Kira thought that he would.

Ryuuzaki didn't want to kill Raito. Kira wanted to kill L with every fiber of his being. He knew that he was a target, like the tallest tree on the highest hill. It almost seemed inevitable that he would die, just one more victim of the horrendous storm. And then Kira would have won. L was the last line of defense protecting the world from Kira's ravages. Without him to deter the lightning, each successive city struck would catch fire and burn to ash, and soon, only Kira and the small band he deemed "righteous" would be left. L could never exist within Kira's world, and so Ryuuzaki thought that he might die. Oh, but he would win. Even in death, he would win.

"I'll win," Ryuuga said, surprising the boy walking beside him.

"Ryuuga, what are you…? Does this… have something to do with me being Kira?" Raito asked suspiciously.

"You know, Yagami-kun, your last name should be 'Ningu' instead of 'Yagami,'" Ryuuga told him, deciding to change the subject.

"… 'Ningu Raito?' Or… 'Raito Ningu'…?" Raito puzzled over this for a second. "Are you trying to say that I'm like lightning?"

"Hai. Kira is like lightning as well, and you are Kira. Even so…" L paused dramatically before smiling and wrapping an arm around Raito, "Even though you are mass murderer lightning-Kira, and even though I think you probably want to kill me (it's at least a 73 percent chance), I'm glad that you are my friend."

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That was the first story out of... 100! Please leave a review if you read it! I will update soon- the more reviews, the quicker it will be! Thanks! 


	2. Blindfold

Xiana: Here's chapter 2. It should be pretty enjoyable. This one takes place before they move into L's fancy building, so they're still in hotel rooms. :D

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2. Blindfold

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L didn't mind being handcuffed to Raito… Kira. It had been his idea, after all. Misa was the exact opposite. She couldn't stand the thought of her beloved Raito-kun chained to somebody other than her, especially another male. Every "date" the three of them went on ended either with Misa yelling at Ryuuzaki to release her beloved or Raito attacking L for whatever reason he had to attack L for on that particular day. And sometimes, it was both. L felt most unloved on such days, and spent the following day eating at least two pounds of comfort food that a sympathetic Watari brought him. Raito was always disgusted by Ryuuzaki's eating habits. Ryuuzaki always told Raito that if he didn't want to see him eating chocolate all day, he should refrain from punching him in the face.

Raito certainly didn't like being attached to Ryuuzaki and being forced to spend every hour of every day within eight feet of the detective, but as long as L eventually decided that he wasn't Kira, he was willing to put up with it.

Unfortunately, Ryuuzaki had made a mistake… at least as far as Raito was concerned. He had placed the cuff on Raito's right arm, and Raito slept on his right side. Because of this, the chain dug sharply into his shoulder, and it was too short for him to be able to maneuver it into a more comfortable position, because Ryuuzaki slept (if he slept at all) on a different bed as far away as possible (which wasn't very far away) because all three of them had agreed that on no condition were L and Raito to share a bed. (Ryuuzaki had used the phrase "sleep together," which had provoked extreme overreactions from Raito and Misa.) Raito had been unable to sleep for more than an hour each night, and he couldn't live any longer in his sleep-deprived state.

He decided to approach Ryuuzaki about it. This wasn't very hard; he always knew where the detective was. It was kind of hard not to. "Ryuuzaki… this isn't working for me."

"What do you mean, Raito-kun? The handcuffs? They aren't really supposed to work for you… Actually, they're more supposed to work for me."

"I just can't take it!" he yelled, rattling the chain angrily. "Now, I'm not asking you to take this thing off, because I know you won't, but can you please… just put it on my other arm instead?" He quickly outlined his dilemma, ending with "I know that you still think that I'm Kira, or that I was Kira, but you can't arrest and execute me if I die of exhaustion!"

"Hmmm…" Ryuuzaki pondered. "I hadn't thought that Raito-kun would be the type who would need to sleep all the time. Even when we had your room under surveillance, you spent more time studying and scribbling in notebooks than sleeping. I guess I thought that you were more like me."

"It's not about sleeping for a long time. It's about sleeping, period! Not that you would know anything about that!" Raito got very irritable and a bit nasty when he was sleep-deprived.

"I do sleep…" Ryuuzaki responded, a bit hurt. "But all right. Unfortunately, this may be a little awkward for the both of us. You see, I do keep a key with me at all times, but if you were to find its location, it would be easy for you to escape and resume your Kira-ish ways. Therefore… I will have to blindfold you."

"B-blindfold?" Raito was momentarily taken aback. "Very well. I understand. In fact, to help prove that I'm not, in fact, Kira –because I'm not– I insist that you take additional precautions. Not that I would ever be able to get away with anything under your watchful eyes…"

"Sucking up will not help. In fact, it only raises the percent chance that you are Kira. But, additional precautions? I shall ask Watari to prepare the necessary materials. We can switch it out before we go to bed, if that would be all right with you, of course." There was something almost vaguely threatening about his tone, but the tired boy paid it no heed.

That night, they walked into the bedroom of the hotel room, just as they had done every night previously. This time, however, there were some very… unusual artifacts lying on the neatly made bed. Raito almost began to wonder if Misa had been right about L after all.

"Now then, please take a seat on the bed, Raito-kun," Ryuuzaki instructed, picking up a long, black strip of cloth. Raito complied a bit nervously, and the cloth wrapped around his head, covering his eyes and completely blocking his vision. "Now I will be placing an additional pair of handcuffs on your hands and tying your feet together with some rope." Ryuuzaki's voice sounded directly in Raito's ear, rather startling the other boy. Raito froze, then held his hands out in front of his body. Soon, cold metal landed on one wrist, then the other. Next, Raito stretched out both feet, and soon the coarse braided rope was binding them together. L proceeded to limit Raito's range of movement as much as possible before pausing. "Raito, it would appear that we have a bit of a… problem."

"…What is it, Ryuuzaki?" Raito asked with growing apprehension.

"Well… somehow, in my haste, I neglected to take into account the fact that the chain is currently… wrapped around your leg. Now, we have two options. Since I think that you'd be uncomfortable, and I know that _I'd_ be uncomfortable, with me reaching around… between your legs, I'm going to ask you to… bend over slightly?" Raito leaned over, feeling (quite correctly) that whatever L was going to do would be better than the alternative.

Two thin arms glided around his neck, resting lightly on his shoulders while cold fingertips grappled with the iron. A few strands of Ryuuzaki's black, softly spiky hair brushed up against the sensitive, ticklish skin at the base of Raito's neck, and Raito swallowed convulsively before forcing his body to remain perfectly still.

"Don't worry, Raito-kun. This'll all be over in just a moment," Ryuuzaki whispered, heated breath hitting the inside of Raito's curved ear. He was almost painfully close, and Raito had to take several deep, calming breaths to relax. Soon, the thick shackle that had been previously around his right wrist suddenly fell off and was replaced by a large, warm hand. There was a clanging of metal against metal, and the device suddenly captured the other arm in its emotionless grasp. Though it had been in constant contact with his skin, it was frightfully frigid, and Raito couldn't stop himself from letting out a low moan. This would be perfectly all right, since he could easily explain this to Ryuuzaki, so he decided not to worry about it.

Misa chose that moment to walk into the room.

"Raiiiiiiitooooooooo-kuuuuuuuunnn! Time to give your Misa-Misa a goodnight kiss-a-kiss-a!" she said cheerfully. Then she paused to comprehend the scene. Her Raito-kun was bent over in a very submissive position, chained up with more restraints than usual. Was that a _blindfold_? And that perverted L was on top of him, caressing his limbs and kissing his face. "Raito-kun! Wh-what are you doing!?!" she shrieked before falling over in a dead faint on the floor.

"Huh? Ryuuzaki, what was that?" Raito asked, looking around sightlessly and accidentally coming into contact with Ryuuzaki's face. More specifically, his lips fell blindly on Ryuuzaki's. Misa woke up for just long enough to see the unintended lip-lock, and lost consciousness again after letting out a piercing scream. "L! What are you doing?"

"Oh… no…" Ryuuzaki quickly freed Raito from his bonds. "I most definitely did not mean to do that to you Raito and actually it was your fault so you cannot blame me for it so please do not hit me as I'm already going to be in enough trouble with Misa tomorrow morning and I do not believe that I would be able to withstand your combined rage so… donthurtmeplease."

Inexplicably, Raito's face split into a wide smile. "You are going to have so much explaining to do in the morning…"

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Xiana: Well, that was the second story. Please review…

Next: Proposition


	3. Proposition

Xiana: Here is chapter 3. It is a bit out of character, especially on Souichirou's part, but I guess that's all right with me if it's all right with you.

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3. Proposition

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"Argh… I'm sick of being cooped up in this office building. Ryuuzaki… can't we please take a break and go see the sun before we forget what it actually looks like?" It was Matsuda who had spoken, and he had jumped out of his chair and run over to where L was staring blankly at a monitor to plead directly with the detective. 

"Ahh, Matsuda-kun, you should not stare at the sun. It will cause severe retinal and corneal damage to your eyes."

"I… I didn't mean literally! I just wanted to get some fresh air! And it's not like you've been out anywhere recently either! Come on! Just for a few minutes? It'll help us focus!"

"As much as I hate to agree with Matsuda, I think he's got a point. We won't be able to learn anything more from the Yotsuba meeting last week unless we've seriously overlooked something, in which case we probably do need to take a break after all," Raito spoke up from his position beside L.

"Well, I suppose that Raito-kun has a point," L decided, "but we still have to wait for the reports from Wedy and Aiber."

"Ryuuzaki, I can remain here and contact you when they return," said Watari's voice through the flashing screen of a laptop.

"In that case, I propose that-" Ryuuzaki quickly cut Raito off.

"Raito-kun… you expect us to go out in public wearing these…?" Ryuuzaki held up his arm to display the handcuff and chain that linked him to Raito.

"Yeah, why not? We can just say that we're on our way to, er, a locksmith or something, because we did this on a dare and you lost the key."

"Do they even have locksmiths anymore?" Matsuda questioned.

"Yes, Matsuda, they do. And due to the fact that Raito-kun used them as an example to support _your_ idea, I wouldn't question them if I were you."

"Gee, I'm sorry that I'm so stupid," Matsuda growled.

"You say that a lot, but you never do anything about it, do you? …Anyway, although it is fun baiting Matsuda-chan and all ("Chan?" Matsuda asked incredulously.), I have a slightly more pressing question. Why do you say that I was the one who lost the key when of course I keep it with me all the time?"

"Because, _Ryuuzaki_, the excuse won't work unless we say that one of us lost the key. Now, I'm a respectable student with neatly combed hair and a well-tailored suit, whereas you are a foreigner who looks like he either just woke up or stayed up all night, whose hair sticks up randomly in all directions, and whose clothes look like they have been neither ironed nor folded nor washed during their entire time of existence. Now then, which of us do you think the average Japanese person is going to believe lost the key?" Raito asked, careful to keep his voice even and emotionless.

"Well, you do have a point, but really, I would rather not go outside. It's not my favorite."

"L!" Yagami Soichirou ran into the room. "Important news! A new bakery has just opened two blocks away, and they're giving three free pastries away to the first 100 customers!" By the time he had finished the sentence, Ryuuzaki was already out the door, dragging poor Raito along with him.

"Way to go, chief! Now we finally get a break!"

"Actually, Matsuda, only Ryuuzaki and my son get a break. They've been working hard without much rest for weeks now, while you go out every morning with the excuse that you're bringing back food for L. That's the only reason he tolerates it, you know."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…"

- - -

"Now then, Raito-kun, what were you going to propose that we do before I so rudely interrupted you? I can only hope that it wasn't a proposal of marriage."

"Er…no. I was thinking that perhaps we could go to a park somewhere. I was going to propose that we take these off-" he gestured to the manacles joining him to Ryuuzaki, "-and play a set of tennis. Of course, that was supposing that we'd be going with the others, who would be able to watch me at all times, and that we'd be bringing our equipment, of course." He sighed, and Ryuuzaki felt almost sorry for his rival. He was, after all, only 18. Not that L was that much older than Raito. Well, the idea had been a good one, but Ryuuzaki had been a bit too overeager, so it certainly couldn't happen right now.

"Let me go first in line, Raito-kun. I like sweets more than you do, so if I am the 100th customer, you won't be too disappointed, yes?"

"Sure…" Raito sighed again. L was notorious for changing the topic of a conversation when he didn't want to talk about it further.

As if reading his mind, Ryuuzaki turned to focus his startlingly wide eyes on him. "I'm sorry, Yagami-kun. I must work out the percentages before I can decide. Ah, yes, I'd like a cream puff, a chocolate éclair, and a powdered sugar donut." He turned his attention back to the girl –and the sugary foods– behind the counter.

"Oh, and I'll have the same… I guess." Raito wasn't exactly hungry, especially for anything as sweet as Ryuuzaki's usual fare this early in the morning, but he never turned down free food. No one turned down free food.

"Huh? Oh, Mako…" The employee turned to an apron-clad woman in the back of the store and began whispering to her. The other woman nodded, and the girl came back. "Could I get your name please, sir?"

"Yagami Raito," Raito replied automatically.

"Yagami-san, congratulations! You're our 100th customer, which means that in addition to receiving three free pastries now, you will also get a free pastry each day for the next year!"

Raito smirked. "Ryuuzaki… I bet you're glad you shoved ahead of me in line now, huh? Now I have a bit of leverage on you, don't I?" He could feel Ryuuzaki's dark, round eyes glaring holes into the back of his head.

"Nooo… I can always just get Watari to bring me sweets…" L actually stuck his tongue out at his Kira-suspect, and then stomped away to find a table. Of course, Raito was attached to the other boy with a chain, so he really had no choice but to follow, which rather spoiled the effect of L's dramatic exit.

Soon, a server brought out their food, and Ryuuzaki dug in ravenously. Raito bit slowly into his cream puff, which he deemed to be the least sweet thing on his plate, allowed the flavors to explore his mouth for second, and eventually decided that it was quite good… for something that his nemesis would eat on a regular basis. He continued with the cream puff while watching Ryuuzaki's strange manner of eating. He had already finished his éclair and cream puff and was starting on the donut. First, Ryuuzaki stuck the donut on the pointer finger of his left hand, and slowly began spinning it while licking sugar off of the ends. Then, he suddenly bit off one entire half of the donut! His cheeks bulged with the crumbly confection, which made him look like an obsessive-compulsive squirrel running back and forth from its home to its storeroom, wondering whether it should store its nuts or just eat them now.

Raito burst out laughing. "Mwha?" L asked, not bothering to swallow his food.

"…You're so strange, Ryuuzaki." Raito finished his cream puff and carefully took a bite of donut for himself. Upon deciding that it didn't meet his exacting standards, he frowned and handed it to Ryuuzaki instead. The detective took it quickly and shoved the remainder of the first into his mouth.

"You know," Ryuuzaki said, rather unintelligibly, "I may not understand why you don't like sugary foods as much as I do, but it's times like this that I don't really mind so much."

"I'm glad." Another waitress came before Raito could continue his thought and set down a plate with a chocolate-filled croissant. Chocolate icing drizzled on top read "100 Customers! Congratulations Michinoyukoi Bakery!" Raito could see L's eyes getting larger and larger as he looked at it. He moved a fork in an attempt to grab some, but Raito intercepted it. "Sorry, but I'm still eating. And that _is_ mine, after all…" He proceeded to eat his éclair as slowly as possibly, primarily because he found L's kicked-puppy look very entertaining. It only helped that it grew more pitiful by the second, until it appeared that Ryuuzaki's heart had been shattered into the tiniest atoms possible by Raito's actions only to reform and rupture again. Eventually, he spoke in a low, tragic voice.

"Yagami-kun… the probability that you are Kira has just increased by a factor of thirty-seven percent. My logic in this decision comes primarily from the fact that only a heartless and cruel person, very easily capable of becoming a mass murderer, would take enjoyment from another's suffering in the way that you currently are."

Raito finished his éclair, feeling just a bit guilty. He used his fork to cut off a small piece before handing the majority of the croissant to Ryuuzaki. The other boy's face lit up in an immediate smile. "I knew that you couldn't be all bad, criminal Kira-kun!"

"So does the percentage go back down?" Raito asked wryly.

"Yep! It is exactly the same as it was before! And that is not all! Due to your overwhelming generosity, I have decided to take your proposition a bit more seriously…"

Three days later, construction on the third floor was completed. L had converted it into a tennis court, complete with racquets of all sizes and over 20,000 tennis balls. Raito and Ryuuzaki began to use it immediately. The day after that, Raito approached L with a new proposition.

"Er, Ryuuzaki, I was thinking… You know, sweets aren't really my thing… but I don't like to have perfectly good food go to waste… So I was thinking that perhaps we should go over to that bakery every day, and, you know, share my free pastry. Just to, you know, take our minds off of the case for a bit?"

"Oh, that can be arranged," L said, with a smirk that said this had been his goal all along, "That can certainly be arranged."

After all, what was one 2.5 million dollar renovation when compared with the chance to get free sweets out of Raito every day for a whole year?

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That was chapter 3. Now, I know you people are reading this, so would it kill you to say "Good story" or "Update soon" or offer some constructive criticism? Reviews are love, and I'm not feeling any. (goes off to cry in emo corner... or not) Anyway, the next update will be as soon as possible, so thanks for reading. (Even if you don't review... coughcough) 

Next: Fear


	4. Fear

Xiana: Chapter 4. This one's a bit shorter than the others, but it's still pretty good. Also: this one might contain a bit of Raito/L, but it's not really that bad and you don't have to read it as such. Oooookay moving on… By the way, thanks for the reviews! Keep it up, please!

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4. Fear

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"Why did you, well… panic so much when the second Kira mentioned Shinigami?" Raito asked L one night. They were staying up late, researching the movements of the third Kira and gathering information. 

The question was seemingly completely random, and certainly not pertinent to any conversation that they had had –ever– before. Despite this, L took only a moment to respond. "I have never believed in Shinigami, or any gods, for that matter, so to hear a hardened criminal like the second Kira discussing them so matter-of-factly was rather frightening to me." He never once looked away from the flickering computer screen, which made Raito wonder if he wasn't getting the whole truth.

"Insane men have referred to supernatural phenomena before, usually in an attempt to prove that it is not they who are at fault. Someone like you, who thinks everything a Kira does is insane, should not believe the words of a madman," Raito argued, sensing a flaw in L's logic.

" 'Much madness is divinest sense,'" L quoted before turning to face Raito. "I believe that what Kira _does_ is insane. But though he has deluded himself into believing that he is to become the god of his new earth, he remains coolly logical in whatever he does, and that is not the way of someone who lacks mental stability. By the way… one of the reasons I suspect that you are Kira is that you, too, never allow for any logical fallacies in your own work and your judgment very rarely wavers." He turned back to the screen, but Raito was ready with his next argument.

"I don't believe that you were frightened of the second Kira's beliefs, but rather the word 'Shinigami' itself. You reacted to that word specifically and it disturbed you so much that you lost your balance and fell off your chair. Because a Shinigami is a god of death, I can only conclude that you are afraid of death," Raito said. He didn't necessarily believe it to be so, but it led directly into his next point.

"I'm not afraid of death." L spoke curtly, almost impolitely. "You, my Kira, have tried to kill me enough times that I have accepted death as a fact of life." He stood, towering over Raito. He straightened his back and relaxed his shoulders, and a dark frown replaced his usual blank expression. He was taller than Raito had thought, and Raito found himself almost intimidated by the new Ryuuzaki that stood before him. "No, Raito, I am not afraid of death, and I never will be. You have seen to that much, at least."

"I'm not-"

"-Not Kira! You can deny it however much you want, but it will never change my opinion! You might as well just stop wasting your breath and my time!" L snapped, grabbing Raito's wrist and shaking it harshly before dropping it in disgust and turning away.

" 'm sorry," Raito apologized, looking down a bit sadly.

L's fierce demeanor disappeared, and he sat back down, slumping into his customary posture. "No, Yagami-kun, it is I who must apologize to you. Perhaps we should go to bed now, as I am clearly unable to control myself. Allow me to finish with this data, and we can get some much needed rest." Raito nodded slowly.

Eventually, L finished with his data, and the two went into their room. They changed quickly and brushed their teeth, then climbed into the big double bed. They lay down as usual; each kept to his own side, as far away from the other as possible. Raito was exhausted and was about to fall asleep when a creak of unyielding springs announced that L had just rolled over and was facing Raito.

"It's not that I'm afraid of death. I'm more… afraid of the unknown. Things that I can't explain. The way Kira kills with just a name and a face, the way the second Kira needs only a face, the possible existence of Shinigami. A mystery is one thing, but there is only so much a mortal human –even a genius like you or me– can be expected to understand."

Raito shifted his position to face the detective, even though he couldn't see him in the darkness of the room. Raito decided that it was the thought that counted. "Well, it'll be all right in the end. We'll catch Kira, all of the Kiras, and then it won't be a mystery anymore. And then, you'll know that I'm not Kira, and maybe we can find another crime to solve. I mean, you may be the top three detectives in the world, but who's to say that I can't be the fourth best?" He reached out to tap Ryuuzaki on the shoulder kindly, but missed in the dark and ended up patting him on the head a bit awkwardly instead.

"Thank you for your kind words, Raito-kun. You're truly a good friend to me." The moon appeared from behind a cloud before being obscured again, and in that instant, the light coming through the window hit Ryuuzaki's face, revealing hidden lines and shadows that gave his face a melancholy glow. He began to roll back to his place, but Raito, acting on a sudden impulse, caught his arm and pulled him closer.

"Ryuuzaki, you don't need to be afraid. I'll protect you from Kira, and Shinigami, and anything else. 'Cuz I'm not Kira, and you're my friend, and it's only natural to protect your friend, yes?"

Perhaps, to L, it seemed a bit too scripted, a cheesy attempt to prove Raito's lack of Kira-ness far too late in the evening for Raito's brain to even be functioning correctly. It didn't prove a thing. L decided against waking the now-sleeping Raito up to tell him his suspicions, and instead chose to spend the rest of his night lying in the comfort of Raito's arms, enjoying the sensation of safety that he could only experience from someone like Raito. Someone like Kira. A murderer. Kira was a murderer. Raito was a murderer. He had to keep telling himself that. "But you know," he said out loud, eliciting a sleepy groan from Raito, "they say that no one can be truly evil while they're sleeping."

"Mmm… Ryuuzaki…"

"I didn't think that Raito talked in his sleep… Hmmm…" L sighed, and rolled closer, setting a hand on Raito's cheek. _And how come I never noticed just how warm Raito is?_

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Xiana: Ergh, this one's not so good… and pretty short too… sorry. Maybe I shouldn't write shonen-ai…? Oh, and don't forget to review...?

Next: Waltz (It'll be better I swear)


	5. Waltz

Xiana: This is chapter 5. I like this one! Er… yeah, don't really have anything to say.

Thanks to the reviewers, by the way! I respond to every review I get! So that would be: **kitkat411, allaboutcontests, Peanuckle, **and **The Chick Three. **Thanks and keep up the good work!

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5. Waltz

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He is standing against the wall, observing the effortless bustle and excitement of the dinner party. He is garbed all in black, a fantastically dark contrast to all the others. He stands out because of his solidarity, but he blends in as well. Black, after all, is what you get when every color is combined. In a sense, he represents everyone there, and yet no one.

A hand taps his shoulder. "May I have this dance?" He acquiesces and they step on the floor. He takes a first look at his partner, a tall man dressed all in white, whose mask hides his appearance. "_Kira desu_," he says pleasantly. _I am Kira_.

"_Eru desu_," he replies, and the other man takes the lead, placing one of L's hands firmly at his shoulder and taking the other in his own. The orchestra begins to play the sweet notes of a stately waltz, and they begin to move in rhythm. One, two, three. One, two, three. Step, step, close. Step, step, close. The calm music swirls about them as they press close, disengage, and return to their original positions. Their steps are flawless, their every motion graceful and visibly planned, each new movement choreographed or improvised so brilliantly that it is indistinct, a part lost for the beauty of the whole.

The music slows, and the dance comes to its inevitable conclusion. L wonders what Kira looks like, who the human behind the plastic stare can really be. Kira evidently feels the same way, for he lifts his fingers gently to the side of L's face to remove the mask. Coal black eyes shine and untamed hair falls into place, and L looks at Kira, with only the barrier of Kira's mask separating them.

"_Eru ka_?" Kira asks. _L?_

"Call me Ryuuzaki." Now L dares to take off Kira's mask, but as soon as his hand approaches, Kira flinches back and slaps his hand away. Ryuuzaki winces from the blow, and glares at Kira indignantly, offended by his seeming hypocrisy.

Kira apologizes. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki. I will not allow even you to see my face." He takes Ryuuzaki's bruised hand in his and raises it gently to his lips. Then he fades back into the crowd.

It is almost impossible to think that such a spectacle as Kira, resplendent in his untainted attire, could disappear so wholly, so instantly, but though Ryuuzaki may look, he does not find him. He is swept up in the crowd of dancers, forced to participate with their various movements. He is passed from partner to partner, and it is in the midst of this chaos that he again catches sight of Kira. But Kira is not Kira. Kira is a boy with flat brown hair and matching eyes. His tuxedo is not as pure as Kira's was, a soft charcoal grey that is soothing to the eye forced to look upon the dazzling blankness of Kira. But this boy is the same as Kira, intimately connected to him if not actually Kira himself. Ryuuzaki excuses himself from his partner, a nervous looking man who keeps accidentally stepping on his feet and then apologizing, and forces his way past joyful couples. The boy releases his last companion, a familiar looking woman with long, black hair, and Ryuuzaki seizes the opportunity.

He takes the boy's hand possessively and wraps an arm around the bulky jacket. "_Eru desu_." _I am L._

"_Watashi wa Yagami Raito desu. Doozo._" _I'm Yagami Raito. Nice to meet you. _Raito ducks his head slightly. L notes the confusion in the boy's face. "Who are you? What…?" L doesn't respond, except to begin moving in rhythm with the steady beat of the bass and to start leading Raito in to the soft swooping of violins. They spin in silence, unnoticed by the sightless crowd, until Raito breaks the silence. "You… are you evil?"

"No, I am just."

"Ah, is that so? I am just, as well."

"Ah." The dance ends, and L steps away from Raito before looking at him searchingly. "_Anata wa Kira desu ka_?" _You are Kira?_

"_Iie. Watashi wa Kira de wa arimasen.Shikashi… Eru ka? Dooshite-_" _No, I am not Kira. But…L? What-_

"_Urusai_." _Shut up._ The way L speaks is abrupt, but soothing. "Do not question it. Come with me." He takes Raito by the hand and leads him out to a balcony overlooking a fragile garden of moonlit flowers. They talk for a while. The more Raito speaks, the more Ryuuzaki decides that he is Kira. Though he only knows Kira from one ephemeral dance, the mannerisms are all the same. Raito even slips once, and calls him Ryuuzaki, though he never introduced himself as such to this boy. He lets it go. They turn to head back in. "_Kira ka?_" L asks, resting his hand on Raito's shoulder.

Raito gently shoves it off. "_Watashi wa Kira ja arimasen_." _I'm not Kira._ They continue inside and began to dance again, but their steps are clumsy, their movements out of sync and flawed, and soon Raito excuses himself. "_Ja matta_." _See ya._ L raises a hand in farewell, but someone behind him captures it. He spins to look into the huge man's eyes, but they are cold and unfeeling. Not even from Kira did he sense this utter lack of emotion. But somehow, Kira is noble to him, while this man, with his weaknesses and uncertainties, fills him with nothing but disgust. The man wears gold. He is greedy.

L tries to break away, but the man only holds him tighter, forcing him to move in time with his assailant. He wants to escape, to find Kira, to find Raito. The insistent man, as if seeing these thoughts, leans down to whisper invidiously in Ryuuzaki's ear. "I am Kira." L doesn't believe it. Kira is smaller, less bulky. He would never wear something gold. Kira would only ever wear black, or white. That's why Raito is grey.

Kira is also a better dancer. "_Shitsureshimasu_." _Excuse me_. A new figure steps up to pull the false Kira away. "You must be mistaken, for I am Kira." The man growls angrily, but apologizes immediately after making eye contact with the other. He backs off, and is lost to sight. L doesn't notice. He is entranced by what –who– he sees standing there. It is Raito, and it is Kira. The right half of his face is covered by the emotionless white mask he wore during their first dance, and the clothes are the same. But the left half is unmistakably Raito, and it is this face that smiles at him now. "_Odori mashou ka?_" _Shall we dance?_

"_Hai_." Ryuuzaki again allows Kira to lead. "_Aa, Raito-kun wa Kira desu_." The Kira side smiles in affirmation, but Raito is adamant.

"_Boku wa Kira ja nai_!" he practically screams, catching Ryuuzaki off guard. _I am not Kira_!!! He loses his balance and stumbles. Raito catches him, and draws him close. "I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki-kun. But I'm not Kira," he whispers, and smiles.

"_Wakarimasu_." _I understand_. But he doesn't understand. Kira is Kira, Raito is Raito, but is there no overlap? "Raito is Raito, and Kira is Kira, but Raito is not Kira?" he asks, wondering if it makes more sense out loud.

It doesn't, but Raito agrees immediately. "Exactly!" He hopes that Ryuuzaki has given up on his theory, but L sees in Kira's eyes a sort of mocking disagreement. _You are right_, it says. Raito either doesn't think that he's Kira, or he's still hiding the fact that he is.

All this is nearly forgotten as the neglected orchestra lurches up in one last blaze of strings and vibrato. This will be the last dance, the last waltz of the evening. It starts out just as the previous ones did, but this one has a certain air of finality to it.

The very air around them shimmers icily, the very oxygen freezing and crystallizing to create a veil of silvery sparkles and golden dust. It is a good thing that L has already forgotten to breathe, caught up as he is in this alternative world of silence and sound and black and white and grey and color and Raito and Kira. He is trapped, though not unwillingly, in Raito's soft smile and Kira's cynical gaze and those soft, yielding, constricting arms leading him on, always on to some invisible climax.

But he falters, misses a step. Hesitation? Fatigue? The spell is not broken, but rather enhanced. Kira sweeps him on, and the endless waltz continues. The pauses, the lapses in concentration (Distraction? Illness?) grow closer and closer together until Ryuuzaki falls, landing in reality, landing on Raito, clutching him for the support he knows he doesn't need any longer. "_Anata wa… Kira desu_." _You are Kira_. It is a statement, not a question. At this point, there is no longer a need for Raito to deny it. He removes the Kira mask.

"_Hai, watashi wa Kira desu. Raito wa Kira desu_." A tragically triumphant smile mingles with a leer. Raito is not happy to see him in such a state. Perhaps Kira is.

"_Arigatou… gozaimasu…_" He collapses for the final time, and a crowd begins to gather around the pristine young man clutching his victorious, his deluded, his weak, his flawed, his perfect, his only, his deceased, dark partner in this decisively terminal embrace.

* * *

Xiana: Ooooooohhh! Let me explain the symbolism! (Spoilers…)

First: They're at a party but really that just represents the world.

Second: L wears black and so he represents all the people! Because black comes from all the colors! Therefore L is for humanity! Kira is white, which is none of the colors, which means none of the people! Yaaaaaaay!

Third: So then Kira asks L to dance, which is like when he challenges him by killing all the criminals and stuff! He leads because he's the one that started the whole mess. And L accepts, so when they're dancing and such it's like the start of the case. Also: they're really good dancers then because neither one of them messes up on the case!

Fourth: Both wonder who the other is, but Raito/Kira figures it out first! And of course he wouldn't let L take off his mask to show that he was Raito.

Fifth: Oooooh a bit out of order from the last ones, but when he slapped L's hand, it was like when he killed the FBI guys!

Sixth: Then later L was dancing with Matsuda, because he's a klutz and I love him. And Raito was dancing with Naomi Misora, but she left… to die… (cough… cough…)

Seventh: Raito is grey, but he's light grey. It's cuz he wants to look innocent and stuff for Ryuuzaki (black) but he's still Kira so he's more on the white side.

Eighth: The whole "Are you evil" part was kind of lame, but both of 'em think they're justice, y'know? So they were seeing what the other person thought.

Ninth: They talk in the garden, which is like when Raito is locked up 'n' stuff. They dance after that, but both of them have started making mistakes at this point.

Tenth: So Raito leaves, and then Higuchi grabs L. He's like "I'm Kira!" but L doesn't want to dance with him because he would rather catch the real Kira than this third Kira poser guy. Also, the guy's suit is gold because gold is gold, and money is the root of all evil, and he's real greedy 'n' stuff.

Eleventh: So then Raito's wearing the mask, and so even though L knows that he's Kira, he can't prove it because he refuses to take off the mask. And at this point, it's like Kira and Raito are diff't people, because L can't prove that they're the same.

Twelfth: And then we get to the end. At this point, Ryuuzaki's really starting to mess up. But it's okay! Kira's in control! That last little part is a bit vaguely reminiscent of (coughchapter58cough) a certain scene… and then we get all the lovely adjectives to describe Eru-chan and the scene fades to black.

…Or would that be white?

Sorry if there were any spoilers in that, and if I just totally wasted your time with a whole bunch of useless symbolism you already understood… but I like showing off because I finally got the hang of that stuff. And if I screwed up on the Japanese tell meeeeeee and I'll fix eet. (I'm not exactly fluent, so I tried to stick with the basics)

Don't forget to REVIEW!

Next: Humanity


	6. Humanity

Xiana: Wow, thanks for the reviews. I told you the last one was good, ne? This one's pretty decent. It sort of explains my vague tendency to refer to Kira and Raito, as well as L and Ryuuzaki, as different people. I still don't know exactly why, though. Ah! Spoilers for 58!

Song Of The Day: Kasou by L'Arc en Ciel. Why? It's an amazing song. L'Arc en Ciel is an amazing band. It almost sort of goes with this story except not really at all. Plus Hyde/Haido is funny when he's trying to speak English. XD There you have it.

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6. Humanity.

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Kira was inhuman. Not even his most staunch of supporters could deny that what he did, no normal person would or could do. Though they deluded themselves into believing that Kira was trying to make the world a better place, the fact was that he was killing people, destroying the lives of others. It was almost ironic that Kira, the worst criminal in human history, was doing it in order to improve the worlds. A killer of killers, one who wished to rule an innocent, wholesome world as the last remaining sinner. Perhaps Kira was planning to kill himself after purifying the world in his own vision and passing on his power to a suitable successor. From the information L had gathered on Kira's behavior, that was highly unlikely. Kira wanted to change the world, and he wanted to rule it as well, to ensure that his efforts would not be in vain. Even if he realized the hypocrisy of his own situation, he would choose simply to continue on, to die a natural death. Kira didn't want to die. He was just like every other human in that respect. 

_That was the only thing human about him._

L wasn't human either, but he was a good deal closer than Kira was. This was primarily because L was not, in fact, a mass murderer. He merely had some… rather questionable ways of going about business. He was a detective, after all, not affiliated with the police in any way. That meant that he was free to consort with criminals as he pleased, free to use dubious means of interrogation on suspects, free to do _anything_, really, as long as he got the job done and didn't publicize the way he got his results. L tried to maintain his morality, and stuck to eccentric, unconventional processes of deduction rather than less ethical tricks and… methods of inquiry. But he wouldn't refuse to use such methods, especially if it meant solving a case. And everything that L had seen throughout the years, the graphic and brutal crime scenes he had come across, had loosened his moral values. After all, if a bit of persuading by Watari and various delicate tools could save innocent lives, that was simply a price L was willing to pay. He had seen too much. He didn't want to see more.

_Working to help humanity was good, of course, but did the ends justify the means?_

Ryuuzaki and Raito were the real people, the faces to the famous names. And the people they were seemed human enough. Raito was a dedicated student. He might have been the top high school student in Japan, but someone certainly had to be the best. He was popular with his "peers" because of his unrivaled intelligence, his sweet personality, and, in the case of much of the female population, his striking good looks. He had close friends and had dated a few girls before Misa had attached herself to him. He didn't seem the type to become a deranged killer, which was why no one save Ryuuzaki had suspected him. At first, even Ryuuzaki had doubted himself. But Raito had been too perfect, and if anyone could find a way to fool every camera and continue to render judgment upon the criminals as Kira, it was Raito. The kid was too controlled to show any emotion, unless society dictated that he should, in which case he was more than ready to display it. He even saw flaws in Kira's logic, which, if not true, was certainly a good defense. And he was too calculating, manipulative, and above all, smart.

_Perfection is a quality that every human lacks._

Ryuuzaki had the same problem of intelligence. No one else (except possibly Raito) ever understood his rapid thought process, or why he chose to do what he did in regards to a case. He was a genius, sharp mind honed by years of mental exercises, and that showed in everything he did. Just like any genius, he had his quirks. He sat strangely, because it helped his powers of deduction. He ate only sweet foods, because they were empty calories for an overactive metabolism, and because they tasted good. He never wore socks, simply because he didn't like socks. He was strange, but he certainly had a personality, and so people accepted him. In their eyes, he was human, more so even than Raito. Despite his manipulations, despite his flaws, despite his unrelenting obstinacy, he was human. To Souichirou and Matsuda and Watari and Aizawa and Mogi and perhaps even Raito, he was human. Ryuuzaki was Ryuuzaki, and it was the flaws and the oddities that separated him from the distorted voice and unseen face of L.

_Was it too much to be human in this world of gods?_

Kira held only a few scraps of humanity- if that. L was only a little better off, for the simple reason that he didn't kill people who went against his ideas of utopia. Raito was next, and he seemed so close to perfection already in his daily life that classmates and teachers often thought of him more as a brilliant alien or a gorgeous robot, divine in every aspect of his life. (And they wondered why Kira had such a God complex.) Ryuuzaki was the most normal of the two men, of the four personalities. He wasn't holy or highly respected; he was too much like any other human in the world for that. So had it been mere coincidence that he had been the first to fall? Were the tiniest imperfections fatal when given openly, especially in a battle of powers far greater than those of mere mortals? Ryuuzaki had not thought so, but Ryuuzaki was dead. Perhaps his downfall had been believing that the good always win. Perhaps he had forgotten that the winners write the histories and determine the true good. But how could he have known?

_He _was_ only human._

* * *

Xiana: So that's it. It might have been kind of short, but I thought it was pretty good, at least better than a few of the other ones. And now you have had a look into the twisted mind of Xiana, and what she thinks about Death Note! Aren't you lucky? 

Next: Tears


	7. Tears

Xiana: Thanks for all the reviews! This is story number 7, Tears. I think it's pretty good… It might seem out of character, well, a bit for Raito I guess, but you have to understand that a non-Kira Raito is more easily angered and he's been putting up with a lot from L for a looooooooooong time. There you have it.

To **DeathNote Fan **(an anonymous reviewer): Thank you for the many reviews! It's good to know that someone out there reads more than one chapter! (Technically, I suppose it's fine if you random _eavesdropping on a private conversation _people read only one at a time.) You are sooooo right about the 4th chapter, because it was definitely OOC. I liked your metaphor for that… XD Anyway, yeah, I was wondering if people were going to think that 5 was a crazy AU thing! XD And now I'm updating like you told me to. Thanks again!

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7. Tears

* * *

There was only so much that a person could take, and L felt certain that Raito was nearing a breaking point. Soon he would confess to being Kira, and the case could finally be resolved, as it should have been so long ago. If L had been left to his own methods –methods which worked, he might add– Raito would have been caught and jailed long ago. Actually, the frustration of _not_ being able to do anything to Raito had led L to come up with some new forms of tor- … interrogation. His favorite was one he had codenamed "Death by Chocolate Cream Cake," in which the subject was fed nothing but chocolate cream cake until he revealed all his secrets. He liked it because he thought that if anyone in the world had a chance of surviving it, it would be him. (Or Mello, but Mello wasn't here right now, was he?) Also, Raito had almost zero tolerance for sweets, and so would succumb almost instantaneously. The thought of Raito, chained to the dungeon wall and allowed nothing but cake almost made Ryuuzaki want to laugh evilly. No, more than evilly. Diabolically. But he didn't think that he could pull it off. It was a good thing that Raito was the villain in this story, because Ryuuzaki didn't think that he had the necessary qualities to be a good bad guy. 

Oh, did he say _the_ dungeon wall? He meant _a_ dungeon wall, of course. It wasn't like his building had a hidden dungeon, conveniently located directly beneath his and Raito's room and connected by a secret silent elevator. That was simply absurd.

Ryuuzaki coughed. Yes, Raito-kun was showing signs of pressure, and it wouldn't be long before he broke down. He stole a glimpse at the industrious boy sitting beside him. His clothes were slightly wrinkled, as he never would have allowed them to be pre-investigation. A few strands of hair were out of place, and he appeared to have dark circles, vaguely reminiscent of Ryuuzaki's, under his eyes. It wouldn't be long now.

The only problem, of course, was that for now, Raito was completely innocent. Ryuuzaki was convinced that he had been Kira, but had lost his memory somehow, and no longer knew that he was Kira. This knowledge had not been enough to stop L from constantly needling him, accusing him of being Kira in the hopes that he might regain his memory or at the very least come up with _some_ memory that they could not use in the current case. But Raito had not slipped up or revealed anything of use. His memories were well and truly gone.

L had come to this conclusion a few nights ago, with up to 99.9 percent accuracy. Still, he could not stop himself from baiting and taunting Raito all the time. The remaining .1 percent was the cause of it. It was the cause of all Raito's problems. Hopefully Raito wouldn't hit him too hard, when he finally snapped. Maybe he would just start pummeling his back, which would be a nice massage. Raito was a naturally gifted masseuse, though his talents only really showed when he was severely angered. L wondered how Raito would react if he told him that.

"You know, Raito-kun, when you get mad and hit me, it usually feels good. I'm not masochistic or anything, I just think that you have a very soothing rhythm and it relieves my stress. Thank you."

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP! I _hate_ you, Ryuuzaki! Why do you always act like this? You're always making fun of me with those stupid blank eyes and your seemingly innocent comments! Well, I'm not Kira! I'M NOT KIRA, DAMMIT!"

Oh. So that was the straw that had broken the camel's back, to use the cliché. "I didn't accuse you of being Kira. I was just-"

"-trying to prove I was!"

"-trying to compliment you. I was-" Whatever L was going to say next was eternally postponed by a solid punch to the nose, followed by a jab to the ribs. Abandoning his "once-is-once" policy, L simply sat there, letting Raito hit him again and again and again. Eventually, Matsuda ran in and dragged Raito off.

"Yagami-kun! Control yourself!" Matsuda admonished. L took advantage of the lull in the assault to lick a bruised cheek. It tasted raw, like blood.

"C-control myself? You think it's that easy? Let's see you attached to L day and night, constantly suspected of being Kira and asked questions that _prove_, no matter how you answer them, that you are Kira, and we'll see how long it takes before you snap! I'm doing all I can to help the investigation, but no matter what I do, even if I brought you every single Kira ever to walk the face of the earth, you will never, _never_ stop suspecting me!"

L gestured to Matsuda. "You can leave. I have everything under control." Matsuda hesitated, but eventually walked away. "Now, Raito, I don't actually think that you are Kira right now. If you never become Kira again, then you will be fine, because I have no proof that you are or were Kira, only a set of suspicious circumstances seemingly directed at you. However, if you do become Kira again, I will hunt you down, and I will punish you for your wrongdoings, because justice will always prevail. I believe that you were Kira once, and I believe that you have the potential to become Kira again. But you don't believe this, and thus we are at an impasse. If you consider it from my perspective, I'm sure that you will understand my actions. However, I must also consider your point of view, from which my actions seem cruel and manipulative, unethical to your innocent state of being."

Raito nodded with his head to the floor. In a subdued voice, he said, "Yes, I understand your reasoning, Ryuuzaki. I apologize for acting the way I did."

"Yes. I apologize as well, Raito-kun. Are you feeling all right?"

"I-I'm completely fine." Telltale drops of liquid landed on the floor with a soft splash.

"Raito-kun, you're crying, I do believe."

"Yes. Yes I am. I would like to tell you that it is because I am angry at you, but we would both know that that would be a lie." It was surprising how Raito never allowed himself to speak anything less than the truth in his conversations with L. It showed just how much he actually respected the other man. "I feel that it comes down more to disappointment, both in myself and in you."

"I don't usually say things like this, Raito-kun, but if you really want to hit me some more, I wouldn't mind," L offered. Raito smiled.

"No thanks, I have had enough of that. Should we get back to work?" The question hung in the air, but neither made a move, both trying to analyze the other's feelings or motives, or perhaps just enjoying a moment of friendship, though that seemed unlikely.

Eventually L spoke again. "To think that a simple comment would be able to drive you to tears…"

"You know damn well that it was not one comment. It was a succession of comments, each more innocently provocative than the last. I am sure that you would never presume that I am weak." Raito stared at L belligerently.

"I see." L looked back with his usual emotionless stare and thought for a moment. "I suppose that, in that case, I'm just good at making you angry."

"…I suppose that's fair enough. Surely, someone has to be."

"Well, I'm glad it's me, then." He began pondering again. "But, you know, I don't think that I would mind comforting you instead. A shoulder to cry on and what not? It might be poetic almost. 'The aggressor, seeing that he has overstepped his boundaries, takes his victim into his arms, finding forgiveness from his uncouth actions in the way that he is so blindly, so helplessly clung to, and so he brushes away a fallen tear from that face, and swears an unfaithful troth never again to cause harm.'"

"That didn't seem terribly poetic, Ryuuzaki."

"I don't suppose that you liked Shakespeare much in school, did you?"

"I can't see how that applies, but no. I preferred novels to poetry, and I always have. Why, though?"

"Because I feel that someone who cannot appreciate poetry like mine would also be unable to appreciate the work of a similar master of the art."

"That was no sonnet, only prose. It had no meter and didn't include any of the poetic devices Shakespeare was so famous for. There is no comparison."

"You presume to say that his was the only true form of poetry?"

"Presumptuous? This from the one comparing himself to the greatest poet and playwright of all time?"

"Well, you seem to have cheered up, at least. I suppose that means that we really should get back to work now." L turned and began to walk back to the computers. Raito began to follow him, but L stopped suddenly and turned back to him thoughtfully before kicking him in the face. Raito fell to the floor.

"What was that for?"

"Well, once _is_ once, you know."

* * *

Xiana: Well, that's the 7th one. It might be a while before I put the next one up, because I need to edit it. Yeah, don't forget to review, and… yeah. 

Next: Skyscraper


	8. Skyscraper

Xiana: All right, so I gave up on the original "Skyscraper," so we'll see how this goes instead. Two stories about their building place?

* * *

8. Skyscraper

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1. Roof 

It was a nice place to rest, to stop and think, to remove yourself from the rest. Between paperwork and computer screens and _Matsuda_, Raito didn't think that he would be able to function without his rooftop breaks. The air was cleaner, and the world all seemed so much farther away.

He knew he was one of the best. He had been so ever since childhood, and he wasn't about to give up now because of a murder case. He belonged above everything else, and was going to stay there.

Of course, he had to drag Ryuuzaki along with him. Otherwise, he would just stay out there, day and night, in his perfect environment.

"Raito-kun, we need to get back to work…" Ryuuzaki whined for the umpteenth time.

"I don't want to, though… You always take stupid breaks to eat candy, so why do you always complain about this?"

"Raito… we've been out here for 15 minutes… It never takes me that long to eat a piece of cake or anything…"

Raito decided to ignore him for now, and focused on savoring the silence and the cool breeze.

"Raito…"

"…"

"Raito…"

"…"

"Raito…"

"I'm trying to enjoy the moment, here, if you don't mind…"

"Oh, but I do mind."

"It's so nice out here! Why do you want to go back in?"

"I can hear the bells…"

"What?"

"Oh, it's nothing."

Ryuuzaki smiled, but there was a look of sorrow in his eyes. Raito sighed.

"Very well, let's go back in."

"...Thank you, Raito-kun."

* * *

2. Yoru (Night)

* * *

When they slept, the night was full, overwhelming, oppressive in a way that was almost indescribable. The darkness of the room was chilling to the two inhabitants, neither of whom would ever seek comfort from the other, nor would ever even admit to any growing anxieties. That was just how they were. To defend themselves in any obvious way would make them only more vulnerable. 

Vulnerability was something that they could no longer afford.

On nights when the moon was gone and only the diminutive stars disrupted the cold shadows, there was an unspoken accord, that though they both might be afraid of what might come, of what the dawn the next morning would bring, and though they might fear what would happen in the future, it was the present that held even more dread for them.

The sheets held as much warmth as an iceberg floating upon a frozen sea. Pillows were as solid as stone, and just as forgiving. The mattress that they lay upon was no different than the earth of an Arctic wasteland, a paradise to souls filled with ice and hell to those who still sought warmth.

They still sought warmth. The only way to obtain warmth in this night was to move towards the other as the only alternative source of heat. They could never do this, for to show weakness was akin to admitting defeat. Two people so childish could never compromise themselves, even though they might lack comfort. It was an inevitable part of their nature, never to be swayed by hasty judgment.

And they would rest, lulled to sleep by the noise of the city and the uncomfortable silence of the room, until the soft sounds of slumber gently filled the air. Fitful dreams, of death, of loss, of failure, of hatred interspersed with periods of blessed nothingness and wretchedly hideous nightmares made up these unconscious periods.

Soon enough, it would be over. The deepest of darkness would clear, and the obscured clouds of the twilight room would evanesce, displaying the same blank, white walls they had fallen asleep to. They would wake simultaneously, with not a word of relief or even polite greeting to spare for the other. Their day-to-day lives continued. One more obstacle had been overcome.

But that didn't mean that they were ever able to prepare for the darkness, for the bleak hopelessness of any situation that seeks the least inopportune moment. And so though they put on a brave face, their hearts were full of trepidation, and they were unwilling to face the night again.

But face it they must, until one is lost and one is left and they lose even the faintest chance of survival. Until they are separated, launched into nothingness more than substantiality, until in one final moment of soulless understanding they break from their silent roles and shed bitter tears, leaving behind pretensions and stillness in favor of motion and honesty.

It lasted but a second, but as wide eyes met slowly closing ones, it seemed as if they were, for once, truly connected.

Connection terminated.

* * *

Xiana: Well, I hope those were good… and please do review… So, guess what? You know how Volume 12 comes out on July 3rd? Well… I already have it! Yay me! Lucky! 

…I didn't like how it ended, though.

Next: Fish


	9. Fish

Xiana: Chapter 9! This one is about Matt and Mello… for once. Hopefully they'll be in character because I don't spend a lot of time writing about them or reading fanfiction about them… not that that necessarily gives you any insight into a person's character…

Suggested Listening: "Was It A Dream" by 30 Seconds to Mars. It doesn't fit at all, but it's a good song.

* * *

9. Fish

* * *

Mello didn't like animals very much. He hadn't ever since Roger had confiscated a stray puppy he had kindly taken in. The little dog, which Mello had secretly named Cookie, had been taken from him on the grounds that it would aggravate little Near's already severe allergies. Mello had also been punished by being sent to his room and deprived of chocolate for a week. To make matters worse, Matt had laughed at him and ate almost the House's entire supply of chocolate –something that displeased Mello greatly– and Near had toddled in on unsteady legs to briefly apologize in that emotionless, monotone voice of his. In his childish way, Mello had immediately associated pets with taunting and insincere, patronizing words from his mortal enemy, not to mention with the lack of chocolate, which was something to be avoided at all costs.

In fact, he had never even thought of owning a pet until over 12 years later, when Matt brought home a goldfish he had won at the county fair.

"What the hell is that?" Mello asked his red-haired roommate, who was walking into the living room with a huge pile of things.

"Well, to be exact, it's three stuffed animals, five giant teddy bears, two basketballs, a miniature pool table, four 'Spongebob Squarepants' posters, a fish, and most importantly, a brand new PS3 to replace the one that broke!" Matt replied with a cheerful smile as he set the items down on the counter in a huge pile.

"But why?"

"Well, I was listening to the radio one night before starting a new round of Halo, and they were advertising for the county fair, where they had, quote, 'Fun and entertainment for the whole family! Rides and attractions! Mysteriously tasty and edible food! Great prizes at the carney booths, including big-screen TV's and all the latest gaming systems.' It as a few days after that that my most treasured of possessions, the PlayStation 3, was murdered in cold blood by a certain blond-haired, leather-wearing, gangster-wannabe, non-appreciative-of-awesomeness second-place girly boy. A boy whose name starts with an 'M,' ends with an 'ello,' and is currently sitting on _my_ couch, watching _my_ TV in _my_ apartment, as well as doing nothing productive, just as he has been doing for the last three weeks," Matt explained.

Mello glanced around lazily to see if some lazy PS3 killer by the name of "Marshmello" was sitting next to him. Nope. Must be him, then. "Ah, yes, I do sort of remember shooting some piece of high-end electronic techno-junk and you being really mad at me… or something like that."

"Yeah, well you killed my system right before I was able to beat Superhuman mode on Resistance: Fall of Man for the 250th time! It's only natural that I would be angry."

"Anyway, on to a more productive topic… Why the hell is there a goldfish there? You should know by now that I can't stand animals."

"Well, you see, it was one of the prizes I won on the way to getting my PS3. Now, I'm not one for animal cruelty, so I decided to bring it home. Maybe if I have you take care of it, you'll learn responsibility, and how to treat living things with respect."

"Matt, gaming consoles aren't alive," Mello pointed out. He thought he had a fair point, but apparently, Matt didn't agree.

"Well, to some violent, non-gaming, and intellectually-challenged folk such as yourself, it may not technically seem alive, but as soon as you hear the whirring of the motor and see the first beautiful pixels of Final Fantasy XIII leap onto the screen, how can you help but be astounded and filled with the dazzling life this magnificent machine holds?" Matt cried passionately before calming down enough to add, "Plus, the little guy can keep me company when you're busy going off and killing people, or eating chocolate, or whatever."

"…Says the one who bought Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess the day, or night, rather, that it came out, then stayed up for 72 consecutive hours playing it in his little gaming cave o' doom with no food, or water, and not a word to your compassionate, hard-working, and stunningly attractive roommate," Mello countered.

"Meh, whatevs. Anyway, take care of that thing for me, 'cuz I've gotta play some Ridge Racer 7! Been without for too long…" Matt disappeared into his "little gaming cave o' doom,' also known as his room, leaving Mello only with the fish and assorted paraphernalia.

Mello stared at the fish. The fish stared back. Neither blinked for an interminable amount of time, which was really only about 30 seconds or so. Then Mello blinked, and the fish swam to the other side of its bowl, as if deciding that competing against such an obviously unskilled opponent was simply not worth its time. Mello sniffed and turned his back to it as well. "Stupid fish, staring at me so rudely… Stupid Matt, making me take care of it…"

xXx xXx xXx

Two days passed, and Matt didn't leave his room, except to go out and buy the new action-adventure RPG-platformer "full of old-school gameplay with all the story and graphics of the next generation," as he so lovingly put it. Mello was very annoyed by the fact that Matt apparently had no intention of taking care of his responsibilities, especially since Matt was always criticizing him. He also hated the way the goldfish stared at him with big, round, pleading eyes whenever he went into the kitchen for chocolate. It was on bar 175 that he finally snapped. "Fine, you damned fish! I'll get you some food! Just stop staring at me, dammit!"

On his way out the door, he nearly collided with Matt, almost shoving him down the stairs in his haste to get out and relieve his guilty tension. "Afternoon, Hubert," the other boy said upon regaining his balance, entering the house, and slinging his bag on the floor. The fish, now presumably named Hubert, stared at Matt by way of a response. "Yeah, I told you he wouldn't be able to take it." Matt rummaged around in the refrigerator, trying to decide what to eat. "Hrm, well, beef jerky is full of empty calories and protein for the not-so-active gamer, and it's teriyaki flavored. But taquitos are nutritious, delicious, and spicy!"

A few bubbles escaped from Hubert's mouth. "Huh, whazat, boy? Ah, you're so right… Hidden Option C! The last piece of Mello's Super Double Chocolate Cake!" After digging this out, Matt smirked and retreated to his lair. "Heheh… he's going to be so pissed when he finds out…"

xXx xXx xXx

Meanwhile, Mello was trying to decide which brand of goldfish pellets to get for Matt's stupid fish. "What the hell's the difference between 'Super Premium Ultra Flakes' and 'Premium Ultra Super Flakes' anyway?" he muttered under his breath. Eventually, he decided on the Super Premium brand because it was less expensive. He was halfway to the cash register when it occurred to him that it might be cheaper because it was of lower quality. He quickly ran back for Premium Ultra instead. Pssssh, it wasn't like he actually cared about that damn animal. He mostly just thought that if the thing died, Matt would be very disappointed in him, and as such would confiscate the majority of his chocolate stash, leaving him to subsist on no more than 12 bars a day. …Not that Matt had that kind of power over him or anything, of course.

Mello refocused on the fish food, and determined that the more expensive brand might actually be lower quality. Then he changed his mind again. And then again. After a few more minutes of deliberation (120, to be exact), Mello was able to make a final decision, and walked out of Petscomart with both containers of food.

After an intense drive home (during which every speed limit known to man was broken at least 3 times and 12 pedestrians were maimed for life), Mello arrived back at the apartment.

"Matt, I'm home! I brought food for your stupid pet, since you obviously can't be bothered!" he yelled, slamming the door open. A muffled reply came from the other side of Matt's closed door. "What? You're going to have to speak up, dumbass. I can't exactly hear you!"

Matt opened his door. "I said Hubert." Mello was confused. Matt decided to clarify. "It's not my 'stupid pet.' His name's Hubert."

"The hell kind of name is that?" Mello sneered.

"A very nice and dignified name."

"Well, I don't like it! I think his name should be Bubbles!"

"…Seriously?" Matt raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, seriously! I think it's a nice name! And besides, you can't even be bothered to feed him, so you forfeit all naming rights, which immediately shift to me, which means that his name is Bubbles!"

"All right, fine, fine." Matt retreated back to his room to continue playing his new game. Once the door was closed and Mello was safely out of earshot, he commented, "It looks like my plan worked. But was he this bad even with Cookie?"

xXx xXx xXx

That day was the beginning of the end. From then on, Mello simply doted on his little fishy chum. He bought whatever he could to ensure that Bubbles would live a long and fulfilled life. The simplistic bowl the fish had arrived in had been replaced by a full-blown tank with advanced auto-filtration system. There was no mere sand at the bottom of this tank, but beautifully colored semi-precious stones of the highest quality. He had abandoned both "Super Premium" and "Premium Ultra" in favor of the more expensive and more effective "Ultra Super Premium Flakes," which made Bubbles grow nearly twice as long as he had been, and made all his scales bright and golden. The only thing Mello didn't appreciate about the situation was that Matt insisted on calling Bubbles "Hubert." He dealt with this by slapping Matt upside the head, which didn't really deter Matt but served to reduce Mello's stress. Matt didn't say anything, except for one remark along the lines of "You do know that I ate your cake, don't you?" The response had been, "Shut up, Matt! I'm feeding Bubbles right now, and I'm on a tight schedule! Next up is the Fishie Massage!" That had been the end of that, because although Matt was worried, Mello was quite entertaining.

The final thing that Mello found for his darling Bubbles was a companion. A companion of the female variety. "Let's call this one Hubette!" "Hell no, Matt! Her name's going to be Goldie, dammit!" "Another _original_ name from Mello…" The exchange had ended abruptly when Mello punched Matt in the face.

The goldfish couple lived happily together, until two weeks later, when Mello found a note lying on the counter next to a mysteriously empty fishbowl.

"_Dear Mello,_

_We have decided to elope to Hawaii. We hope you will forgive us. It was not your fault; it was that 'Math' character. He was always smoking, and calling us weird names, and we don't think he approved of our relationship. We wish you good luck in dealing with that person._

_Love, Bubbles and Goldie_

_P.S. We didn't die or anything, don't worry."_

Mello ran to Matt's room, feeling immaturely sad, just as he had felt when Cookie had been taken away. It was because of this that he didn't notice that fish weren't exactly literate. "Matt, you idiot! The fish!"

Somewhere upstairs, Matt flushed the toilet.

* * *

Xiana: Er… there you have it. A sad ending for Mello and his little fishy pets. Yeah… they kind of died. Matt didn't just flush them because he was jealous or something…

Next: Gone (Heheh… this one's good)


	10. Gone

Xiana This is chapter 10, Gone. We're one-tenth of the way done! This one is… well, if you haven't read Chapter 58 or watched Episode 25 and don't like spoilers, I highly suggest that you wait to read this one, because the whole thing is pretty much one huge spoiler... Everyone else, this is my reaction to the events of that chapter-slash-episode. This one, I am sure, is in character, though we do have a little of that multiple personalities Light-not-equal-to-Kira type thing, which is pretty much canon anyway, yes? And I call him 'Light' in this story. I don't know why. It just seemed to fit better I guess. No real dialogue in this one, which is interesting coming from me. I wish I could read it aloud to you all, because it sounds better that way, as **Keselyx** and **Ramen Ichiraku** will testify, I'm sure.

Also: I am going on vacation tomorrow, so I won't update for a while after this, but that doesn't give you any excuses not to read or review this one. Get on it, punks!

**Death Note Fan:** Hello again! Yes! Well, in Episode 25, it almost seemed to me as if he had heard that before, and sort of already knew what it was foretelling, so I figured maybe he was with Raito when he heard it before? You were absolutely dead on with that, though. Ah, I see, so you've only read the manga…? Well, I would definitely recommend Episode 25, if no other episode, because the way they made it was so much more dramatic, sad, and effective than it was in the manga. I almost shed a tear! XD Anyway, I'm glad that you liked the second one! There certainly are a lot of what-if's in Death Note, huh? Personally, I think that he would still die, but we definitely wouldn't have gone through the whole Mello/Near section with them against Misa oO What'd you think about the ending? Personally, I… hm… I don't even know!

* * *

10. Gone

* * *

He had enjoyed it. The way that Ryuuzaki had heard of Watari's death first and had been overcome with fear and hopelessness had been beautiful to him. The way he must have felt when he suddenly felt his heart constrict, to know that he had lost to Kira, was simply poetic. The way that he had suddenly fallen from his chair to land in the arms of his murderer was elegantly ironic, and Light almost wished that it had been recorded, so that he could look back on that moment again and again, to relive that moment of his greatest triumph. And to think that Rem had been so attached to that girl that she would give her own life to destroy Light's three greatest threats in one fell sweep, even knowing that this had been his plan all along. Light smirked whenever he thought of her death. A shinigami, the perfect inhuman killing machine, brought down by such an emotion as "love." Emotions truly were for the weak and foolish, Light reflected, and it was the strong who manipulated them for their own purposes. 

It had bothered him, though, how in the seconds before death, Ryuuzaki had turned those eternally empty eyes on him, had looked into his triumphant face with that blank stare of his, and knew that he was right. The greatest detective in the world had never been wrong about anything. But Light had wanted to see shame, hatred, rage directed at him for killing his father-figure and then him, for ending his quest to save the world from Kira in bleak failure. And all that he had gotten was quiet acceptance. "I knew that you were Kira all along, Yagami-kun," that look had said, "but I wanted to believe that you were my friend." There was no betrayal, nothing to suggest that Ryuuzaki had been anything less than ready for his own death.

At the time, he had been so enraged that the only thing he could do was scream. He had remained in character, but only just. He had been shaking when they dragged him off into that adjacent room to wait while his father took Ryuuzaki away in the ambulance. He had waited, and his left hand had not stopped shaking, his soaring heart rate had not slowed, until his father had returned with the official news of Ryuuzaki's death. It was one thing to want to kill someone, to plan his death, to know unequivocally that he was going to die, and another thing to watch him die in front of you, to know that you had been the last thing he had felt as your hands supported him, that your voice had been the last he had heard, that he had seen you in his last glimpse of the earth and had known that you had killed him and had accepted that fact. Light had known that Ryuuzaki must die there, but somehow, he had almost believed –Had wanted to believe? No.– that L would slip away again, prolonging his life to continue battling and occasionally stymieing Kira at every turn. He had thought that in his perfectly executed plan, surely one thing would go wrong, and Ryuuzaki would escape his death one final time.

And he hadn't. Light had sat in that room, across from Mogi and Aizawa and next to a trembling Matsuda, with an utterly blank expression on his face, his mouth hanging half-open. His eyes had reflected no light from any of the dim bulbs or fading computer screens. They had been as soulless, as emotionless as Ryuuzaki's eyes had been in those final moments before they had closed forever. His father had returned, and he had been forced to drop his empty stare in favor of anger and false sorrow. And then he was no longer Yagami Light, but Kira. Kira could triumph in the wake of his rival's death. Kira could do what needed to be done to ensure that he would reign over his light-filled world. Kira could forget, that he, Light, had once honestly and openly called Ryuuga, Ryuuzaki, _L_, his friend.

In the months after his death, Kira had wondered at the strange emptiness he felt. Life was becoming boring again, the way it was before he had ever discovered the Death Note. There was no challenge left for him. There were loose ends to tie up, naturally, but with the deaths of Aiber, Wedy, and the remaining Yotsuba Six, and the manipulation of the task force members and the police, the only thing left to do was scribble the names of as many criminals as possible into the Note. Kira was the god of the new world, and no one could challenge him. It was almost disappointing. L was Light. Light was Kira. Kira had the entire world. The world had only Kira.

And so, he had remembered that moment, had continued to flash back on it as the pivotal, the defining moment in his life. The sudden crash, the heat of his body as his life faded, the look in his _god-damned eyes_ had been a turning point for him. The climax. The moment of no return. L was gone. Ryuuzaki was gone. He would never come back.

The funeral had been a small affair. Only Light, Misa, and the members of the original task force had attended. Kira had shed a single tear, for that was what Light would do, and that was what Light had done. And then he was Kira, only ever Kira, without fear, without challenge, without anything but his flawed ideals and a dead world to rule.

Ryuuzaki was gone. Victory was hollow.

* * *

Next: Candy Cane. 


	11. Candy Cane

Xiana: Hello everyone! Welcome to Chapter 11, Candy Cane! This one is Christmas-y, crack-y, and quite long. It is currently the last day of June, so it is most certainly out of season. Why do I always write Christmas stories? Just remember, you can't stop the power of your muse, so if it wants to write Christmas stories in mid-June, you let it write Christmas stories in mid-June. Also, it is definitely a bit AU, because, well, this never could have happened. Takes place post-Yotsuba, pre-Chapter 58/Episode 25. That is all.

Additional thank yous to reviewers. Sorry I forgot last chapter… But I'm back from vacation now so it's all good. So… Thanks to: **calysto-antonsen, A Sweet Catastrophe, allaboutcontests, SayWah, Keselyx, **DeathNote Fan, **kasai tenshi, Luminescent Wolf, How-to-die-swiftly, AnimeDragonofFire, Tree Flower, **and** conspiredfate.** You people make me happy. :D

Suggested Listening: "Jingle Bells" with a side of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas," just to get you in the mood.

* * *

11. Candy Cane

* * *

Raito didn't particularly like shopping at any time. Dealing with festive sights, huge crowds, and the same two or three songs set on repeat was not an improvement. Christmas was his second most hated holiday, after Valentine's Day, of course.

Fortunately, he knew exactly what he was going to get… for the most part. He bought his father a new tie, just as he had done for the past 12 years of Christmases, birthdays, and Father's Days. For Aizawa, he picked up a bottle of hair gel that the salesclerk peppily told him was "great for all kinds of horrific, messy hair, though why a well-coiffed kid like you would ever need stuff that potent, I have no idea." Mogi would be receiving the best selling book, How to Speak Out and Be Noticed More Often by Takei Tsumachi. **(1) **For Misa, he wandered into a girly-girl store and grabed a pair of Misa-ish earrings and some perfume. It was important not to do anything too special, lest she become even _more_ attached to him. He had already sent off his presents to Sayu and his mother (a box of cheap jewelry and a new cookbook, respectively), which meant that he was almost finished with his Christmas shopping for the year.

Key word: almost. He had no idea what to get Matsuda or Ryuuzaki. A sudden flash of inspiration struck him, and he dashed back into the bookstore. He quickly found the most difficult book in the store (Advanced Neuroreceptive Cosmetology as Applied to Rocket Science –Expanded Edition–) and left again. He laughed evilly as he walked to the food court, because confusing Matsuda was both diabolical and humorous at the same time. He ordered some pizza, because there're always pizza shops at every mall ever, even in Japan, and scanned Ryuuzaki's list one last time.

_The Things That I Would Not Be Adverse To Getting For Christmas:__ by L (aka Ryuuzaki)_

_1. A signed confession from Kira (aka Yagami Raito) stating that he is Kira and that he surrenders himself to me._

2. A signed confession from the second Kira (aka Amane Misa) stating that she is Kira and that she surrenders herself to me.

_3. A signed confession from Touta Matsuda (aka That guy who isn't cool enough to have a nickname) stating that he ate the last piece of cherry cheesecake on October 17__th__ and that he will be bringing me 10 dozen whole cheesecakes to make up for his unfortunate mistake._

_4. A copy of Eraldo Coil's __How to Catch the Bad Guy and Get Rich__. I love seeing (one of) my name(s) in print, though of course never in an obituary, Kira/Raito-kun._

_5. A full-scale replica of the Titanic. Why? Why not? A man can dream, right?_

_6. Well, 6 isn't really a material possession, but if someone would completely destroy the factory that keeps sending me those free sock samples (something that is still questionable, at best) I would promise not to tell Kira/Raito-kun who you are and would defend you from any further litigation as it may occur._

_7. A chocolate waterfall. See __Charlie and the Chocolate Factory__ for more details._

_8. A lot of love- because that's what the L stands for, you know. (Kira/Raito-kun, don't bother trying to kill me with that name, because it doesn't really stand for love)_

_9. Other._

Raito sighed and bit into his pepperoni pizza dramatically, just as he ate potato chips. Of course, the first option was out of the question. Ryuuzaki knew that he was Kira, and he knew he was Kira, but the world didn't know he was Kira. Plus, his father would probably die of the shock, which meant that he would have wasted 22 dollars! **(2)** Nobody else would want to wear that tie… except maybe Matsuda. But Matsuda already had a present!

Another reason against the signed confession was that if he did it, well, he would die. Raito didn't like Christmas very much, but he did assume that securing your own death was not part of the Christmas spirit.

As for the second item, he _could_ get Misa to sign a statement (if he asked really nicely) and turn her in as his gift. But then he wouldn't have anyone with Shinigami eyes anymore, and although he was never going to make the trade, they sure did come in handy. He didn't think that he could get anyone else to trade half of his or her lifespan in order to allow him to kill people more easily. Only Misa was that devoted. He wasn't planning on seducing Matsuda, the only other one who might do it, any time soon. Or ever, really.

Number 3 was out, that is if he really had heard Matsuda ask humbly how much 120 cheesecakes would cost. Matsuda had then done some rapid calculations and sighed heavily. Then he had trudged out of the room, muttering, "At least I'll still be able to pay my rent…"

When he had been at the bookstore, he had searched high and low for that book, even going so far as to violently accost several cashiers. They had all told him that all their copies had been sold within the last 12 hours, mostly to men wearing ties and dark suits. In other words, the members of the task force.

"Damn you, Kira Task Force…" Raito muttered under his breath, flinging his half-eaten slice down on his plate and laughing maliciously. Strangely enough, no one looked askance at him. They must have been very, very stressed. "Oh, I know all your names, and when the time comes for me to kill you, I'll make sure you die in the most wretchedly cruel manner I can think of…"

Item 5, impossible. Item 6, impossible. Raito laughed again, and a few people backed away in fear this time. He was the reason that Ryuuzaki was on that mailing list, and every time a new package arrived and Ryuuzaki threw both it and its contents into the fireplace angrily, he had to forcibly prevent himself from falling to the ground in agonizing hysteria. Sometimes it scared him how evil he was.

Item 7 was just stupid. Ditto Item 8.

So that left number 9. Other. He would simply go out and buy the man a pie, but there was a tiny disclaimer at the bottom of the sheet, reading, "Random sweets will not placate me. Anyone who thinks to get me something sugary, excepting Watari and Matsuda if he opts for Item 3, will not be appreciated and will therefore forfeit not only their confections but their present from me as well." Maybe L was truly the more evil of them after all.

So what was Raito going to get him? There weren't any books Ryuuzaki would enjoy. It would be a total waste of time to search clothing stores; Ryuuzaki never wore anything but a white shirt and blue jeans, and he already had entire closets full of those. Raito brightened momentarily at the thought of sports equipment, but frowned again when he realized that Ryuuzaki only played tennis, and he already had an amazing racquet –one of the highest quality available– and more tennis balls than Federer and Nadal combined had used in their entire lives. **(3)** Ryuuzaki even owned a few personal tennis courts. What could he get him, then?

Ryuuzaki didn't play video games. He didn't watch television. He definitely didn't wear jewelry of any sort. He probably didn't appreciate art, if the blank white walls back at headquarters, interrupted only by monitors or surveillance cameras, were any indication.

A… A gift card? No! Gift cards are what you get to say "I don't really know you." And Raito definitely knew Ryuuzaki, especially considering that they had been handcuffed together for quite some time before Raito had been released. Spending months and months in constant contact with another person leads to extremely intimate knowledge of each other. (Not that type of intimate.) Yes, gift cards were for the weak! And if there was anything Yagami Raito wasn't, it was weak!

Still… what to get? If he couldn't come up with something soon, he was going to have to fake his way through item 8. He really, really didn't want to do that. Pretending to be in love with Ryuuzaki would be bad enough –his father would probably die from the shock of that, too, and he didn't even want to think about Misa's reaction– but to pull it off, Ryuuzaki would have to believe him. And Raito knew all about Ryuuzaki's little crush on him. It was fairly obvious; Ryuuzaki was always staring at him, and making excuses to be close to him… and when they had been chained together, Ryuuzaki had always, _always_ snuggled with him in bed. And it wasn't like he was just asleep, either. Everyone knew that Ryuuzaki very rarely slept, which meant that he was the one _choosing_ to wrap his arms around Raito's waist and bury his face in Raito's hair and whisper "Oooooooohmmmm, Raito-kun…" with a note of pure _longing_.

Raito couldn't really blame Ryuuzaki for falling in love with him. He _was_ drop-dead gorgeous, after all, and Ryuuzaki had probably never even seen any girls before Misa, who would be enough to put him off women forever. But even though he couldn't really blame Ryuuzaki, that didn't necessarily mean that he was okay with it, and it certainly didn't mean that he reciprocated those feelings. But that was off-topic. He knew he wasn't going to find anything at the mall, so he decided to go back to the office. Maybe he'd be able to figure out a good "Other" for Ryuuzaki there. "Stupid Ryuuzaki… Why are you so damn hard to shop for!" Raito yelled aloud. A security guard stepped forward and "escorted" him out of the shopping center.

---

Three shopping days left before Christmas. Watari and Ryuuzaki were off doing their shopping, and the rest of the task force was occupied with gift-wrapping. Raito had deviously finished wrapping his presents a few days earlier, so this was his best opportunity to do a little reconnaissance.

He snuck into the room that he used to share with the other man, evading all the cameras and removing anything that would show he had entered the room. He made his way to the drawers along the east wall and began searching through them. Shirts… more shirts… pants… underwear… Raito quickly closed that drawer. Closet next. This was full of… absolutely nothing. Raito had used that space during his time of confinement, and Ryuuzaki, apparently, had not bothered to put anything in. He looked everywhere he could think of, but found nothing until he stuck his arm under the pillow. His fingers closed around a hard cover, and he drew it out triumphantly. Journal was what the cover said, and it was half-full of Ryuuzaki's neat script.

His first action, of course, was to quickly check the inside front cover, to see if L had written his (real) name inside. It would be so much more convenient if he had, because then Raito could simply kill him, and not have to worry about getting him a present. Or worry about being caught, but whatever. Unfortunately, there was only a large, cursive L in the front to prove ownership. Raito cursed under his breath and began reading. The first entry was dated six months ago.

July 22nd 

_-Today we learned some valuable information about Kira 3. Unfortunately, it was because Matsuda is a dumbass. Fortunately, we got more cake at the grocery store today, so the goods outweigh the bads. Tragically, I was forced into the part of Emergency Worker 2 (Raito was #1), which means that Matsuda owes me a batch of cookies in addition to the cupcakes from last week. However, I liked the way that outfit looked on Raito. He really has the eyes to pull that bright yellow hat off. Actually, he's quite good-looking. Perhaps Amane-san could use some of her contacts to get him a modeling job, too…? That is, if he's not too busy working on the case or conveniently forgetting that he was Kira a few weeks ago…_

_Suspicion Percentage of Raito Kira: 17 Percent_

_Matsuda Owes Me: 1 b co, 12 cu_

Raito sighed and flipped a bit farther through the journal. That had told him nothing but that Matsuda was an idiot and Ryuuzaki was in love with him, which were both things that he had already known. Still… L thought he should be a model…? That was almost enough to make Raito want to just walk away right then and there and give up on Ryuuzaki's present, but his unwillingness to give up mixed with the knowledge that, actually, he would be an excellent and superbly sexy model made him continue. He skipped to September.

September 12th 

_-Worked on the case today, just the same as always. Even though I know it can't, _shouldn't_ be right, I can't help feeling the way that I do about him. He's so perfect and innocent, but I know that deep down, he has a "bad boy" side to him. I'm confident that if I try hard enough, he'll show me what he's really like. Too bad we don't sleep together anymore, he was warm and soft._

_SPORK: .03 percent logically, 99 percent my intuition_

_MOM: 1 b co, 36 cu, 3 π, 1 ca, 2 bo che _**(4)**

Raito felt vaguely creeped out by that entry, for it only confirmed his worst fears. He flipped ahead indiscriminately; he didn't care what it was as long as it wasn't stalker-ish.

October 18th 

_-Damn that Matsuda! Just when I had finally awarded him two grudging respect points for not having screwed up for an entire week, he goes and eats my cake!!! It was the last piece, which I had been saving because it was the best and most cherry-licious, and Watari won't be able to make a new one until Monday!_

_This may be the first time that I have ever wanted Kira/Raito to kill someone, but I could never want it more than I do at this moment. If you do ever read this, Raito/Kira, please do kill Matsu, and please try to make it very painful. I'm thinking like something out of one of those Saw movies. With lots of gore and random mutilations. Hopefully, though, you never will read this diary, because then you'll know all about my secret feelings_ (here there was a blushing smiley face) _and I feel that I will have to apologize to you if I am wrong about my assumptions._

…_That idiot was stupid enough to get caught on camera! Argh! Violent dismemberments aside, I really just want to fling him into the fireplace and watch him burn…_

Raito liked that one better than the previous two, mostly because Ryuuzaki was so very pissed off at Matsuda that he was actually begging Raito to make him suffer, and partially because he had been so angry that he had forgotten to write out his spork and mom stats. Also, Ratio didn't mind the fact that the subtle undertones of "Ryuuzaki is madly in luuuuuuuurve with Raito" had faded slightly. Suddenly thinking of something, he flipped to October 31st, the sugar-iest day in the world, curiously.

Quickly, he slammed the diary shut. It was page after page of solid text, and it _had_ to be all one sentence. Raito considered himself _very_ lucky that they hadn't been handcuffed together (and forced to share a bed!) on Halloween, because he probably would have died. Or lost his virginity.

Or both. (At the same time?)

Raito decided to stop messing around and get straight to the important information. December was his best bet.

December 6th 

_-Christmas is soon, only 19 days left! I started writing my list, and I hope I get some of the things I ask for, and maybe Matsuda will finally pay me back. Idiot. _

_I think that I should also put up a tree or two. I like bright lights and that rich, piney scent, and probably everyone else does too. I'm not one much for… manipulation, but I have a sneaking suspicion that everyone's work ethic will improve by at least 7 percent._

_-Later: My list is finished. I wonder if anyone will catch on to the secret #10…? Well, Raito is the only one who really has a chance at it…_

Raito paused. Secret #10? That was what he had been looking for! And if only Raito had a chance, it must mean that it was something he could potentially do, and that he wouldn't be adverse to. Now to find out what it was. Maybe Ryuuzaki had written it down somewhere?

There were no interesting entries until December 13th, which was the day that Raito had gone to the mall.

December 13th 

_-Raito was gone today, so I began setting plans in motion. So far, everything is going as planned. I can't tell anyone about it, not even this diary. I almost wish I could. But they wouldn't understand. I also wish that Raito-kun would come back. I want to see him…_

_I'm sure he feels the same way that I do. He does… I know._

_DUCKS: 12_

Ducks? What was that acronym? Days Until… something. Coconut? Christmas? Celery? None of those made sense with any of the K words that Raito know. Perhaps there were punctuation marks? L tended to leave those out of his acronyms. Christmas was the likeliest, because it was scheduled for the 25th, whatever _it_ might be. **(5)** So, K. Kangaroo? Kumquat? Kitchen? Kidney? Those were all stupid… K…iss? Ohhhhhhh… no… If the K stood for Kissing, he had an idea about the S. So the punctuation would be DUC(K?S?) Or DUC(K,S). Or DUC(K!S!).

Either way, it was very disturbing. Raito knew that it had to be about him. Ryuuzaki was planning to do… something to him on Christmas Day.

Confession, that was it. Ryuuzaki as going to confess his affection to Raito on Christmas. Why? Because he was sure that Raito was in love with him as well. That was what those last few enigmatic lines meant, if there was ever any doubt. Where Ryuuzaki had developed such an idea, Raito didn't even want to guess. Ugh. Not only did this mean that he was going to have to foil Ryuuzaki's plot, but he still had to get him a present!

He quickly read through the rest of the diary. For the most part, it contained only mundane descriptions of the day's events, along with the running DUCKS countdown. There were a few interesting (and seemingly sexually charged) comments that made Raito feel rather uncomfortable, although he decided he could simply be imagining it. The only entry he felt might contain useful information was the most recent one, from the 21st.

December 21st 

_-It doesn't seem like anyone has figured out the hidden item 10. That's sad, because it's the easiest item to find at a store, and dead cheap, too. The file is on the public domain, so it's not like it's limited to just Raito-kun, although he's pretty much the only one who _a)_ is smart enough to pick up on it and _b)_ hasn't gotten me anything yet. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear as if anyone _will_ figure it out, which means that Raito will probably lose his excellent present from me, which cost a _lot_. Sigh. Well, here's a hint, in case anyone ever swipes this diary and is curious: check November 29__th__. I think that you'll get it. You've understood things like this before, Raito-kun._

_Oh, and one last thing. Cherries are good, but my real favorite flavor is strawberry. But you already knew that, didn't you?_

_DUCKS: 4_

Raito turned quickly to November 29th.

November 29th 

_-Today, I feel like I'm in quite the creative mood, so I'll write a poem. Here goes!_

_Chocolate was Mello's favorite thing automatic  
And Matt likes video games more than sleep  
Near loves toys and puzzles blank;  
Don't think my obsession unimportant too  
Yet sweet in nature, it most arguably  
Combines elements of perfection emphatic  
And conclusively appeals to every sense, and so  
Nestling in packaging of pink  
Extending straight ahead and up  
Somehow, I could eat you Eternally._

The entry rambled on for a while with more semi-suggestive themes, but Raito knew that the poem was the key. He copied it down on a piece of paper, replaced the journal in its former hiding spot, and vacated the room. Ryuuzaki was sure to return soon, and Raito definitely didn't want to be caught snooping… He was certain that he would be punished and that the spork would increase to at least 2 percent logically. He went back to his room and began looking the _thing_ over. It was obvious that the content didn't matter much; besides the fact that it was poorly written, Ryuuzaki mentioned people that Raito had never heard of and proposed his little riddle only to distract him from the hidden message.

Raito groaned. "Are you joking?" Something this easy couldn't possibly be right. But there it was, spelled out for him. He tried every other combination of words and phrases and letters that he could think of, but there was only that one lucid message. "But what does it mean?"

Ah, of course. Public domain, secret file. He logged on to his laptop and began searching through the folder marked "Ryuuzaki's Documents." Most of the files here were heavily encrypted, but Raito didn't even bother looking at or trying to hack into them. He was confident in his abilities, but Ryuuzaki had written in the journal that anyone could get it, which meant that Matsuda could do it too. And Matsu had absolutely no computer hacking skills whatsoever.

There were only two files that weren't, at the very least, password protected. One was labeled "list" and the other was simply "10." Raito opened this one first, and was immediately attacked by 12 continuous pages of katakana, none of which made any sense. That meant that there had to be something hidden in the other document, because although Raito knew that he probably had to put it into a translator, he didn't know which one or to which language.

The other file was Ryuuzaki's Christmas list, of course. There didn't seem to be any hidden messages in the vein of the poem, and if it had anything to do with number of letters or position of a word, Raito couldn't find it. Action on a sudden impulse, he highlighted the entire text and set the font to black. Sure enough, a new entry appeared.

_10. See additional document. Juan, Jean, John, jōn. They say that animals can't hitchhike, but this fish proved them wrong. _

That was simple enough. He had to change the katakana to Spanish, then French, then English before switching back to Japanese. The second part was the translator engine necessary. It was a reference to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. In that book, there was a fish, known as the Babel Fish, which translated languages. Simple.

Raito went to the website after firing up his internet connection. He copied the words and translated them instantly. When he was finished, the message he read was… well, a little strange.

10. The item which is wanting is special occasion most treasured of foods. Preferring the third packages in a special taste of choice.

Raito grinned. The translator might not be perfect, but the message was crystal clear. Ryuuzaki wanted his favorite food, three packages of it. And he wanted his favorite flavor, too. Easy.

A knock came at the door. Raito quickly closed the files and went to a games site instead of the translator. "Yes, what is it?" he called out.

The muffled voice on the other side of the door was unmistakably Ryuuzaki's. "Raito-kun, you should come to the kitchen. We're having apple pie, your favorite!" **(6)**

"All right." Raito turned his computer to sleep mode and left the room. As he walked beside L, he couldn't help shooting glances at the enigmatic detective. Why would he go to all this trouble for a food that was cheap and, if not necessarily _abundant_, certainly plentiful enough during the season? Did it have anything to do with his feelings for Raito?

L noticed Raito's scrutiny. "Yes, Raito-kun? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Raito blushed slightly and looked away. "Oh, I wasn't… Sorry, just staring off into the distance. I was thinking about something."

"All right. It's fine. I stare at you a lot, too." Was Ryuuzaki joking? What did he gain by saying that? Did he really think that Raito… loved him? Well, apparently so, but hadn't he ever heard of discretion?

Raito walked the rest of the way to the kitchen in a state of self-righteous anger, a sharp contrast to the innocently-questioning L beside him. When they arrived, Raito flung the doors open with more force than strictly necessary. The consequence of this was that he hit Matsuda, who was walking right in front of the doors when he burst in unexpectedly.

Normally, this wouldn't be so bad. Raito and L actually had contests every other week to see who could "accidentally" take Matsuda down the most times without him growing suspicious. The current record was 25, set by Raito and matched by Ryuuzaki two weeks later. But Matsuda had been walking to the table. And he had been carrying Raito's apple pie.

Matsuda flew through the air and hit the counter. The pie, of course, found its final resting place on his face.

Everyone else gasped in horror, except for Raito, of course. He forced himself to remain calm and not get angry at Matsuda, who after all hadn't done anything that time.

"Oh, Matsu-kun, are you okay?" L immediately went over to help him up. Matsuda wiped the pie from his face almost sadly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry that I'm such a klutz, though…"

"No, it was Raito-kun's fault," L explained. He took Matsuda over to the sink.

Matsuda shook him off, though not unkindly. "Er, thanks, but it looks a little dirty. I'll just go take a shower." The sink was actually pretty disgusting, and had been for some time.

"Oh, all right." L went to the refrigerator and pulled out a cake. "Would you like some of this instead, Raito-kun?"

"No thanks." Raito walked away. "…Stupid Ryuuzaki…"

---

Two days before Christmas.

Raito found himself in the average retail store, standing in front of the holiday candy. He was stuck between two different brands of the same thing; one was green, and the other was pink.

"Green is a more manly color than pink… but Ryuuzaki might think that I would think so, and want the pink one instead, just to confuse me… but green better reflects the holiday spirit… but he said he didn't care about the holiday spirit… but…" Poor Raito was, as usual, overthinking things, so he paused for a moment, clearing his mind and freeing his soul. If he had a soul. Did someone who killed many, many others have a soul anymore? "Ah," Raito reminded his traitorously thinking brain, "you forget that I am justice, and therefore am doing what I find to be right, and therefore have a soul." He then started wondering what exactly a soul was, and it was in the midst of the chorus to that old Nelly Furtado song ("_I'm like a bird/ I wanna fly away/ I don't know where my home is/ I don't know where my soul is_") that a stray wisp of a thought flew by.

"Hey, bozo," this rather impolite thought shouted, "remember that crappy poem your lover boy wrote? Said summat about pink packages, dinnit?"

"Aha! You're right!" Raito replied inwardly. "But you've got it all wrong! We're only super genius rivals remaining behind a façade of friendships while really plotting to destroy each other in a grand death match full of percents and sugar and cryptic logiv!"

"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say…" The thought drifted off to find someone else to harass.

Raito moved back to the land of reality after re-closing his mind's eye. Deciding that the thought's point was logical, if rather rude, he grabbed three packages of pink and set out for the checkout lanes.

As he stood in line, reflecting on his experiences, he determined that it is probably best not to talk to the voices inside one's head, and also that it is probably best not to have voices inside one's head at all. Two hours later, when he reached the front of the line, he also determined that it is probably best not to leave one's wallet in another pair of pants.

---

One shopping day before Christmas.

It was Christmas Eve-Morning, and Raito was back at the store. This time, he had his wallet. He also had pants. He held the items tightly, as if afraid that someone might steal them. The casher took one box and waved it over the scanner. And waved it. And waved it. And waved it. And waved it. Eventually, she gave up. "Sorry, hun, but the barcode isn't scanning right."

Raito plastered a falsely cheerful smile on his face. "Oh, that's fine."

-Later that day-

"This just in! Breaking news! This holiday season has been relatively crime-free, which is sort of because Kira is killing everyone! However, one rogue lawbreaker dares to defy the law of the one who claims to be the new God of our world. His name is Saimono Jikonshon, **(7)** and he held up a nearby Rokuya market before absconding not with loot, but –CLICK–" L changed the channel.

"It's bad to know that Kira is gaining so much power, but I suppose you don't feel the same, do you, Raito-kun?" But Raito was nowhere to be found. He was at a secret rendezvous point with Jikonshon-san picking up the items that the Death Note had… convinced him to steal.

"Muahaha!" Raito laughed evilly.

"Muahhachokegaspwheezedie…" Saimono laughed, choked, gasped, wheezed, and died.

Raito walked home happily. He ever whistled a verse of Jingle Bells.

---

It was a snowy and festive Christmas morning that Raito woke up to. He rolled out of bed and pulled the present that he had nefariously wrapped last night out from under the bed. He rushed out to where the Christmas tree was, in the living room. Everyone else was already there, waiting for him.

"Sorry I'm late, everyone! Man, that L sure is hard to shop for, huh?" Raito commented cheerfully, handing L his gift. He sat down in the circle of giving, next to Misa and L. Aizawa, who sat on L's other side, handed presents to everyone else in the circle from his position next to the tree. He first passed out all the gifts that he had provided for everyone, and they were duly opened. Nothing truly extraordinary was hidden within the snowman wrapping paper of the parcels, but Raito did receive a subscription to Genius Magazine, which he had wanted for years but had been too modest to ask for. Mogi was next, and his presents were surprisingly thoughtful. Misa positively squealed over the necklace he gave her, which was a skull with little ruby hearts for eyes. On the back, it was engraved with Misa's initials. The attached card said, "To a beautiful girl and a loyal friend. Good luck with Raito! Love, Mochi." Raito almost wished that she would give up on him in favor of someone like Mogi who, well, actually cared about her. But that left him with the same problem of no shinigami eyes. Raito really hated his life sometimes. More presents from his father, Misa, and Matsuda. Raito received a tie from his dad, ironically enough, and Misa gave him some sort of "promise ring" Raito had to put it on immediately, and look happy, of course. Why did girls like all this romantic crap anyway? As for Matsuda's present, it was a fish.

No, really, a fish. A fake fish, to be precise. It was attached to some plastic backing, and as soon as it made "eye contact" with Raito, it began singing a song and flopping around.

"Don't worry, be happy," the fish sang.

"…Matsuda…" Raito was at a loss for words. It seemed as if L was, too. Actually, nobody really seemed to be able to speak. They all just sat and stared at the fish, except for Matsuda, who was grinning happily. "Er… I don't mean to be rude… but… what the hell is this thing?"

"Why, it's Birii, of course!" Matsuda exclaimed, as if that explained everything.

"Ah… Birii… right…"

"Hmmm? You mean you really don't know about Birii?" Matsuda smiled the cunning smile of someone who knows something that no one else does. He continued in a lofty tone. "Well, you see, Yagami-kun, Birii was only the most amazing invention ever to come from America. It artfully combines the grace of America's most famous dances with the raw beauty of their singing style to form the year's most innovative product! Birii! Big-Mouth Birii Bass!" **(8)**

Everyone was silent until Raito spoke again, a bit more hesitantly this time. "Er, but… Matsuda… why… why did you give this to me?"

"Well, you know, I had to get Ryuuzaki a bunch of cheesecake… and after that, I was pretty strapped for cash… so… I had to, er, recycle a bit of the more… luxurious furniture I have back at my apartment."

Luxurious was not the word that Raito would have used to describe Birii.

Eventually, they all snapped out of their bass-induced comas. That meant that it was Raito's turn to hand out his gifts. Aizawa seemed to like his gift, and Mogi started reading his new book immediately. The perfect streak ended with Matsuda. "Um… Raito-kun… I've already read this…"

"…Really…?" Raito didn't even bother trying to hide his surprise.

"Yeah, really! I love reading about Neuroreceptive Cosmetology!"

"…Oh… I see…" said Raito, who didn't really. "But… why? I-I mean, when did you become interested in it? I thought that it was, er, something that you would like, but I didn't know that you already did…"

"Oooooh! This is the extended edition? Sweetness! Heheh…" Matsuda turned to a page near the back, then held it out, showing it off to everyone. "It seems that Ryuuzaki isn't the only one who has his name in print…" Sure enough, there was an essay describing a correction to the book on the page that Matsuda had flipped to, and it had indeed been written by Matsu. Everyone was silent again. Matsuda really had a talent for that, it would seem.

Soichirou unwrapped his gift after a suitable moment of silence. He seemed to appreciate the Spongebob Squarepants tie more than he had the Scooby Doo tie from his birthday and the Spiderman tie from last Father's Day. That was good!

As expected, Misa went crazy over her present and hugged Raito extraordinarily tightly. Once he managed to get her off, it was time. The moment of truth had finally arrived. L picked up the box and unwrapped it slowly, choosing not to tear the paper but to pull it off methodically with the tips of his fingers. Eventually he was done.

He pulled the three boxes of strawberry-flavored candy canes out and inspected them. "Um, Raito-kun, I'm sorry, but because of that one rule of mine, I'm afraid you have no choice but to forfeit your present from me…" Though he was trying to keep a straight face, it was obvious that he was hiding a smile.

"Oh, but Ryuuzaki, you're forgetting about…" Raito paused for dramatic effect, "…the hidden number 10!"

"Gasp!" everyone gasped.

"Please explain, Raito," L said, no longer trying to hide his gleeful face.

"Well, you see…" Raito prepared for a dramatic monologue. "It started a few weeks ago, when I was at the mall. I was unsure what to get my dear friend Ryuuzaki, primarily because the items on his list are really, really hard to find, and secondarily because _a certain group of people made of with every copy of his book_, which was by far the easiest item to get on the list."

"It's true," L admitted. "You guys took the easy way out."

"Anyway, I couldn't really think of anything that would be both within my power to get and something that Ryuuzaki would appreciate. And so, in a state of near-panic, I scanned Ryuuzaki's list one last time. It was then that I noticed a suspiciously blank section near the bottom of my copy of the list. On an impulse, I logged on to my faithful computer, and opened up the file. I changed _all_ the text to black, and suddenly there was a new entry. After reading it, I knew what I had to do." Raito was changing the story just a little to make it seem less like he had just been randomly prying into Ryuuzaki's personal business, and more like he was a brilliant mastermind who just so happened to be immeasurably intelligent to unravel such a cunning plot. "It was simple, really. I gust had to open another file and do a bit of translating. Anyway, I quickly learned what the mysterious item that Ryuuzaki wanted was. Now, on the little disclaimer at the bottom, there was a bit of extra text, saying that I had permission to read a certain entry in Ryuuzaki's diary, which I found in his room afterwards. In that certain entry, there was a rather poorly written poem that contained a secret message."

"Are you criticizing my poetry, Raito-kun?" L interrupted sadly.

"No, never, Ryuuzaki, I would never say anything like that," Raito said sarcastically, before continuing with his tale of why he was really, really smart and stuff. "Anyway, the secret message was formed by taking the first letter of each line. When you read them all out, it spelled out 'candy canes.' Now, there was a bit more to this, because it had to be in Ryuuzaki's favorite flavor, and there had to be three boxes. Well, _obviously_, I got that all right. So, Ryuuzaki, how's that?" he finished triumphantly.

"Well, Raito, I must say that you are, well… absolutely correct…"

"Yes! I knew it! In your face, Matsuda!" Raito cheered. Matsuda was a bit perplexed by this sudden statement.

"…about one part. On the rest, you're completely wrong," L finished. Whatever Raito had expected to say, it was not that.

"What?"

"Oh, Raito-kun, it seems that you were mistaken about a lot of this. Would you like me to explain it to you?" L offered. Raito glared at him and flopped down on the floor next to a confused but sympathetic Misa. "Aha, well, I suppose I'll take that as a yes then. I don't mean to brag, but this really was one of my better plans. Well, Raito, for starters, you are a liar. You read my diary long before you noticed that line in the disclaimer, which I have to say was a downright impolite thing to do. And even after all that, you didn't even get it right at all. I'm a bit disappointed. Anyway, you most definitely were wrong. 'Candy canes' was just a red herring, if you'll pardon the fish cliché, a ruse to distract you from the real message. You really were supposed to look at the last letters in each line."

"I did that, too, but I didn't get anything, just 'cpkoycokpy' or something. I didn't think that you would do something as obvious as 'candy canes' but I honestly couldn't find anything else that worked!"

"Well, you are right that I wouldn't do something like that where the message was that evident. _Kira_ would, but I pride myself on being, well, smarter than you, Raito-kun. It was the last letter, but every _other_ letter. You know, Raito, Pocky! And, if you take the first five letters, or the second five letters, and rearrange them, you get the same result! However, you were right that my favorite flavor was strawberry, though I don't think you would have known that if you hadn't read my diary. Also, you totally missed the hint near the end of the poem, because although the box of candy canes that you found is pink, a Strawberry Pocky box is also pink, and candy canes don't 'extend straight ahead.' They curve, but Pocky is just a straight stick, you know? I gave you plenty of hints, but I guess that you lost this round. I guess that you don't get your present either."

"So… what was it?" Raito asked resignedly.

"Oh, nothing… Just a statement saying that I no longer suspect you of being Kira! But I guess because you didn't get me a good present, I can just rip that up…" L pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and showed it to Raito. He was about to tear it up, but Raito suddenly stopped him.

"Wait… It's still Christmas, so that means I still have a chance." Raito breathed in heavily, preparing for what he was about to do. "Ryuuzaki… I wasn't sure that I should do this… but you've left me no choice. I need you to not suspect me anymore, so… so that we can be happy." And then he pulled L into an intensely passionate kiss.

Silence reigned supreme again. Misa and Soichirou seemed to be dead. Aizawa and Mogi stood still, unable to do anything. Only Matsuda was truly unaffected, and seemed to be wondering why everyone else was so stunned. After recovering from the shock of being accosted by Raito, L regained enough sense to shove him away. "I hate to be rude, but, Raito-kun… what the _hell_ was that?"

"Oh, I just thought that one of the things you wanted for Christmas was love. And I was going to supply it to you." Raito smiled widely, hoping beyond hope that he hadn't just made an even bigger fool of himself in front of everyone.

"That was a joke. I was referring to something more like friendship."

Or not. Raito twitched. Nothing had gone according to plan, and he had just kissed Ryuuzaki for no reason. _In front of everyone_.

L shredded the paper and threw the scraps into the fireplace. "Sorry, Raito-kun, try again next time. Hmm… but this has been quite informative. I didn't know that _that_ was how you felt about me. I might have to make some new calculations…"

That was the final straw. Raito blinked slowly before rushing over and punching L in the face.

"That wasn't very nice, Raito-kun. How do you think that's going to make me feel about you? Even if I liked you before, I certainly wouldn't now…"

"Don't you start with me! You are the one who is in love with me, and I hate you!"

"…Please explain. I can understand some of your hatred, but why would you think that I 'was in love with' you?"

"Why the hell are you trying to deny it? Everything that I read in that diary only proved my point!"

"…I don't…"

"Yes, you do know what I'm talking about! Just stop!"

"But I don't know…"

"July 22nd! 'However, I liked the way that outfit looked on Raito. He really has the eyes to pull that bright yellow hat off. Actually, he's quite good looking.'"

"No, Raito-kun, that's…"

"Be quiet! September 12th! 'Even though I know it can't, _shouldn't_ be right, I can't help feeling the way I do about him. He's so perfect and innocent, but I know that, deep down, he has a bad boy side to him. I'm confident that if I try hard enough, he'll show me what he's really like. Too bad we don't _sleep_ together anymore, he was _warm and soft_!' Come on, Ryuuzaki! "

"That was actually…"

"No, it wasn't! October 18th! 'Hopefully, you never will read this diary, because then you'll know all about my secret feelings.'"

"That wasn't what I-"

"'I can't tell anyone about it, not even you, diary. I almost wish I could. But they wouldn't understand. I also wish that Raito-kun would come back. I want to see him… I'm sure he feels the same way that I do. He does… I know.' Why would you think that, Ryuuzaki?"

"In context, it-"

"On December 22nd, you said 'I stare at you all the time'! How do you explain that? Tell me!"

"I would have explained everything before, but you didn't exactly let me, Raito-kun." L coughed pointedly, but Raito didn't feel guilty at all. "Where do you want me to begin? If we start with that July one, I was simply stating what I found to be a fact, because I thought that you looked nice. Is there something wrong with complimenting someone on their appearance? Does it seem to shallow to you? I wasn't the only one to notice, either. Everyone else thought the exact same thing, but you just didn't read their private journals, I suppose. Don't you remember how Misa was jumping all over you afterwards? Well, I suppose you wouldn't seeing as how she's always doing that to you… I suppose I understand how you could have misunderstood my words from the 12th as referring to an affection, which, let me again reassure you, I do not hold for you. I was actually referring to your being Kira. I'm sure if you think about it again, it'll make sense. It was because I thought – because I still think that you are Kira, but as you see, the evidence proved definitively that you couldn't be. I'm sure that you thought that my 'bad boy' comment referred to you being, um, good in bed and doing a lot of kinky things to me… but I assure you, I was talking about you being a mass murderer. As for the last part of it, well, I'm not going to lie to you. When we used to have to sleep together –er, in the same bed, when we were handcuffed together– I always woke up snuggled in your arms. And you were always really warm, and when I looked at you, you were always still asleep, and you looked so cute… That's 'fluffy-puppy-cute,' not 'you're-gorgeous-and-I-want-you-to-make-love-to-me-cute,' just for clarification. And you always wore the nicest silky pajamas, and your hair was always really soft, too. So I suppose that, on that day, I had woken up to a cold bed, and had thought about the time that I had spent with you. But please, Raito-kun… don't take it so personally. I would feel the same if it was anyone else that I had slept beside in regards to a case if they were warm and soft, even someone like, oh, Matsuda, for example. You see, I'm a 'cold' person by nature, so anyone who has a naturally higher body temperature would immediately become attractive, at least to a sleeping body, anyway. So, I suppose I should apologize to you if I ever did anything _untoward_ to your person while in an unconscious state."

"Untoward? You embraced me and whispered my name tenderly! And it's not as if you spend any time at all sleeping," Raito accused.

"On the contrary, sleep is one of the most important things for the human body. It's true that I require less than the average person would, but when you were… attached to me, I was forced to go to bed by midnight, at the latest. Since I found myself there, unable to work on the case, I found myself with nothing more productive to do than sleep, so I tended to get more sleep than even you, who sometimes had trouble getting to sleep, primarily because of the guilt you ostensibly felt about being Kira, and also because you tend to overthink things, so you were analyzing every last word of the day's conversations to see if anything proved that you were Kira or not. Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes, October 18th. That was also referring to you being Kira. I have decided that if it is ever absolutely proven that you aren't Kira, I will owe you a major apology. But, actually, with everything that went on… especially the death of Saimono, the candy cane thief… your SPORK actually rose by 17 percent logically. Next the December entry. For a while, I was talking about my plan for you. Nobody else would understand why I would want to do it, you see. I wanted to see you because I wanted to see how frustrated you were with my rather difficult list. I… well, I specifically ensured that you wouldn't be able to get a copy of my book, so you really didn't have a chance in the end. And I know you feel the same way that I do. You hate Christmas too, yes? Well, you certainly do now, anyway."

L smiled. "As for that last complaint of yours, I stare at you all the time because you are Kira, and I find that staring at deranged killers helps me better figure out how to capture them."

L finished handing out his presents, which were all very good and quite expensive, though none was as good as Raito's former gift. "Now, I suggest we go eat the lovely, festive breakfast that Watari has prepared for us." Everyone went into the kitchen, some more blankly and mechanically than others.

"So, you're angry now, Raito-kun?" L said before Raito was able to retreat into the kitchen.

"I guess I lost, so I can't really be angry…" Raito sighed, deliberately trying to remain calm. "But… wasn't that a bit of a gamble? After all, you said that you were going to stop suspecting me of being Kira if I had given you the right gift, right?"

"Aha, I guess I wasn't being totally honest about that part."

"What! You mean you weren't telling the truth? You weren't really… I _kissed you for no reason?_"

"Ha, well, that paper really did say that I would stop suspecting you, but I actually already knew that you had nothing else planned, and that it was perfectly safe to do something like that. Sorry!" L grinned.

"Argh, but that's just it! How could you know? You had no reason not to suspect that I hadn't gotten you something else…"

"Ah, but I certainly had information that said that not only did you get my message wrong, but you were utterly convinced that it was right."

"But how'd you get that information in the first place? I mean, when I snuck into your room, I was sure to avoid all the hidden cameras, and I put everything back exactly the way it was. Neither you nor Watari was home to see me, and the rest of the task force was busily and 'secretively' gift wrapping… I even went so far as to delete the computer records!"

"Well, I'm sure that's commendable behavior, but I've installed more cameras since you moved out. One of those definitely caught you. I may have been away, but there are copies of all the surveillance footage on my computer, Watari's database, and a few additional but secret locations. And, you might have deleted the records, but I distracted you with apple pie before you did. Thus, I was able to ascertain that you had looked at that information, and had figured out what you thought was the correct answer."

"Right… Oh, one last thing… At the risk of sounding even stupider than I already have, and for the sake of tying up loose ends and letting you prove your complete victory over me… What was that DUCKS thing that you had written down? I thought it had something to do with sex, but _obviously_ I've been wrong about a lot of things."

"Oh, that stood for 'days until clean kitchen sink.' Watari always cleans the sinks on the 25th of every month, and it was by the 13th, the first day that I wrote that down, that it started getting really bad. Remember Aizawa and the Cheeze-Whiz? Things really started to go downhill from there," L said. He turned towards the kitchen, then changed his mind and turned to face Raito again. "Oh, by the way, Raito-kun… Merry Christmas!"

Raito stalked off down the hall and into his room to plot how to kill Ryuuzaki. Christmas was _definitely_ his new least-favorite holiday ever.

* * *

Xiana: So, that's how it ended! It was really long, huh? Almost 10,000 words! Did you get any of the secret messages? Did you know what was coming? Did you read the diary entries normal, or yaoi-style? Many questions for you today! Anyway, the next section is clearing up some of the stranger parts.

**(1)** The name of that guy is actually a bad pun. Get it? Takei? Tsumachi? Talk? Too much? Yes? No? Maybe? As far as I know, this book doesn't exist, though.

**(2)** Ties can cost anywhere from 5 to 200 dollars. Raito is poor, though, so he got his dad a cheap tie.

**(3)** Federer and Nadal are the two best tennis players in the world, in case you didn't know. Roddick is third, though! (Keselyx cheers somewhere in the background)

**(4)** If you're wondering, 1 batch of cookies, 36 cupcakes, 3 pies, 1 cake, and 2 bowls of cherries.

**(5)** Whatever _it_ is, you can find it on eBay. Oh, sorry.

**(6)** I don't think it really is apple pie. I just put that to be ironic, you know? It'd be cool though… if… the pie… and then… and the… (random and occasionally yaoi-ish thoughts run through the author's brain) Huh? What? Uh… yeah. No significance. Nothing to see here. Move along.

**(7)** This mysterious criminal person is actually Simon, a British kid. I…don't really know why he's the random thief, or why I thought it would be fun to kill him off… But you asked, so that's the explanation. Wait, maybe you didn't really ask…

**(8)** You guys should all know this! It's Billy! Big Mouth Billy Bass! Very very popular in recent years, and highly questionable. If you _really_ don't know about it (which I find hard to believe) look it up on Wikipedia or something, because you fail at life.

Additionally: Yeah, Christmas isn't a very big holiday in Japan. It's actually more of a "couples' holiday?" Ehhh, I don't know… Blame the British people! (points at Watari and L accusingly, as well as the dead body of Simon)

Next: Starstruck


	12. Starstruck

Xiana: Hello, hello, I'm here again with another tale to tell you. This one is… well… yeah. I don't really have anything to say about this. Ehm… I should probably put a disclaimer in here this time. Just in case…

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or anything related to it. I also do not think that Paris Hilton should die, although she did attract rather too much media attention for my liking. This story is a result of dealing with that stress and as such should not be taken seriously. Please do not accuse me of wanting to kill Ms. Hilton or try to sue me or anything. Thank you.

Well… er… that should tell what this one's going to be about…

Suggested Listening: "Stars are Blind" by Paris Hilton. Why? I don't know. (He's on third.) Bonus points if you understood that last part.

* * *

12. Starstruck

* * *

The media was an important tool for use in capturing Kira. L could use it to send subtle messages to contacts around the world, or just try and reassure the general population. It was for that reason that he insisted on watching at least two hours of the news every night. Raito, of course, watched the news with him, because he wanted to keep tabs on the elusive detective, and because he was amused by Kira's continuing progress through the world. It had also become a tradition for the two to scan the broadcasts for information about Kira in the months preceding Higuchi's death, and any sudden change in behavior might make L even more suspicious than he already was. And Raito couldn't have that. 

Plus, it wasn't as if Raito didn't like watching the news with L. It was actually fun for him to watch L wracked with guilt over each fresh Kira killing, to observe him searching for clues that did not exist. Of course, he had to portray himself as a sympathetic colleague willing to do whatever it would take to bring the horrible criminal to justice. The acting was a pain, but Raito was used to it by now. He never regretted the time he spent each night, sitting on the couch next to Ryuuzaki, listening to a bland announcer describing the deaths he had caused.

Nothing was absolute, however, and it was for this reason that Raito truly regretted watching the news one Saturday in late May. The usual reports of victims and newly committed crimes were all gone, replaced by a certain woman. Her face filled every channel they changed to, until even the unshakeable Ryuuzaki became at least a little annoyed.

"Raito-kun, why is this 'Perisuu' person so important that she's being shown on every channel? I mean, she's not even Japanese. Doesn't the world have something more important to focus on? Something like, I don't know, the presence of a deranged, inhuman killer wanting to take control of it?" he eventually complained, after thirty straight channels delved directly into "continuous, 24-hour coverage" of the oh-so-important Paris Hilton case, featuring expert opinions and the repetitive use of two photographs of the heiress throughout the broadcast.

"Ah, you know us Japanese. We're fascinated by English words and the American lifestyle, just like those American _otaku-_" (He pronounced this word "oh-tack-you") "-who seem to think that Japan is the best country in the world."

"… Are you trying to say it isn't?" L asked, just a bit confused. He wasn't an oh-tack-you, per se, but he certainly liked the country enough to take a Japanese name (two, actually) for his own personal use, and why else would a British person do that? "Anyway, I don't think that anything else is going to be on, unfortunately. Maybe we should just call it a night? It's that or we watch something pointless and brain-killing, like MTV or something."

"Well, usually I'm all for killing brains, in a non-Kira way, of course, but knowing them, they'll probably be covering the Paris case, too." Following that logical statement, they headed to bed, hoping that the media frenzy would be over in the morning.

Naturally, it wasn't. The big news of the day was that Paris, having violated the terms of the parole, was to serve a longer period of time in jail. The huge controversy was that she was being given a higher sentence than most offenders because she was a "celebrity." The logical argument against this, one fully supported by both Ryuuzaki and Raito, was that Miss Hilton had been reprimanded and let off easily multiple times because of her status, and the fed-up judge had "thrown the book at her" because he didn't want her to continue to flout the law and endanger the well-being of others. This time, L only flipped between 10 channels before giving up and watching shojo anime instead.

"Why 'Nana,' L?" Raito questioned.

"Because it's full of teenage drama and angst, which were both things that were missing from my childhood, so I'm catching up," L explained. "Plus, Nana K. is so cute and I love Mika Nakashima!" And that was the final word on the matter.

The next few days were the same, to the point where not even Fruits Basket reruns could reenergize the detective. On the sixth day, L made one fateful comment that made Raito's life very painful for a while.

"You know, I'm surprised that Kira hasn't just killed her by now. She is technically a criminal after all, and Kira has killed people for insignificant crimes before. Hmmm… at this point, I'm almost starting to wish that he would…" Then Love Hina came on, and it seemed that everything would be all right again.

The next day, it was announced that Paris Hilton had died. Of a heart attack, no less.

Of course, blame was immediately thrust upon Kira. And because L thought that Raito was Kira, and since Raito had heard his comment the previous night, he was immediately confined to his room on the grounds that the percentage chance that he was Kira had increased by 50 percent.

Before being locked in his room, however, he had called Misa and confirmed that she had not been the killer in this situation. He certainly hadn't done it, of course, so that meant that either a new notebook had entered the world or some shinigami had it out for him. Or it was a major coincidence. That didn't seem likely.

No matter what the real situation was, he was, well, screwed. All Raito could do was sit on his bed, read his dirty magazines ("It's a perfectly normal reaction to stress, Yagami-san. Even I have been known to do that on occasion."), and wait for something to happen.

After a particularly _intense_ issue of Tease _("Special Report: Cat Ears- Who Has 'Em, Who's Lost 'Em"_), L walked into the bedroom, presumably to interrogate Raito-kun. He pulled a chair up next to the bed and sat down in his customary position.

"So, Raito-kun, I'm sure you know that this looks pretty bad," he started, not wasting any time. "There is a lot of evidence that proves you are Kira for certain this time."

"Yeah, I guess, but I honestly didn't do it."

"You seem pretty calm about all this, Raito-kun. Disposed of all the evidence, did you?"

"Nope. There isn't any evidence, because it wasn't me. And… I know this probably won't mean much to you, but I don't really care if you think I did it. I've had a lot of time to think this over, and there is purely circumstantial evidence against me, so you can't really use it in court."

"I suppose you have a point, but that honestly doesn't matter. I solve the crimes. I don't do law work on the side. Your reaction to all this is much different than it was earlier, though."

"Well, I suppose that at some point, you get used to being accused of murder. And, well, this may seem like a pretty damning statement, but I'm not sorry that she's dead. She never did anything productive for society, though she certainly had the means. She got attention for being a stupid, spoiled, rich brat. Frankly, good riddance to bad rubbish. And if Kira killed her, well, I'm afraid that I have to take his side just this one time."

"You were right that it sounds bad, but I suppose that I feel the same way. In fact, I absolutely agree with you. Well, you heard what I said, after all. And the only real reason that I am not suspected instead of you is that I'm a famous detective-type and you're a former Kira-suspect. I guess it isn't very fair, is it/"

"No, not at all." Raito sighed. "Well, you know you don't have to believe me, as I said earlier, but I certainly would prefer that you did."

"Well, it seems that I do believe you, at least on this occasion, Raito-kun. It seems to me that Kira's ideals have more to do with violent crimes than petty misdemeanors, even though they may be smeared constantly across the screen. Plus, Kira wants the world to think of him as a god, so he would probably refrain from killing someone so immensely popular, yes? And if you were Kira, it wouldn't make any sense for you to kill her immediately after I commented about it, unless you were trying to throw me off, which I doubt. Also the notebook is just as safe as it has been, and it doesn't seem as if any pages have been torn out, either. There is one thing, though… I highly doubt that you, even being a hardened murderer, would want to kill someone for the sake of our friendship, but… my comment last night was hasty and not well-planned at all. Of course, now the entertainment news has nothing to report about besides her death, and it seems that won't change for many a day. I'm sure that in tomorrow's newspaper, we'll have all kinds of foolish theories about why Kira killed her and newly-unearthed evidence proving that Kira is really such-and-such a family member or ex-lover, as opposed to a Japanese school-aged child/teen with connections to the police force."

"I agree with you, Ryuuzaki. It looks like more shojo anime for us then, huh?" Raito attempted a smile. If Ryuuzaki didn't think that he had done it, he would surely let him free, right?

"Well, maybe… I'm afraid that I'll have to have you under constant surveillance for 12 more days. If the 13-day rule is false and you did it, nothing will happen to you," L reminded him.

"But if it is true and I didn't do it, or even if it _is_ false but I still didn't do it, you can't prove anything. The only way that you'll know anything for certain is if I do die, which I won't, unless it's another random coincidence like the one that got her."

"Yes, but I know that, well, you're a childish person. And because of that, you might want to kill a person like that, just to annoy me further."

"What are you accusing me of now?" Raito asked resignedly.

"Childishness, of course. There's no shame to it, Raito-kun, I have the same quality myself, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. But it's true. If you are Kira, you will want to put yourself ahead of me no matter what, even if it's something stupid."

"Aren't we missing the point a little? A woman –not a very _good_ woman, mind you- is dead, and we're arguing over logic. Again."

"Well, in that case, I suppose I shall see you later then, Raito-kun, since you obviously don't want me around anymore." L waved jauntily and stepped out of the room, closing the door with a heavy slam and locking it shut. Raito sighed and turned back to the March edition of Caught on Camera ("_Special Locker Room Edition!"_).

---

After 13 days had passed, during which Raito read every piece of literature, questionable or not, that was to be found in his room, L finally let him go free.

"Well, nothing conclusive has happened, so I'm afraid that I can no longer keep you in captivity. You are free to continue working on the case with the rest of us, now."

"It took you long enough… You never believe me when I tell you that I'm innocent!"

"Well, that's because I still believe that you're Kira."

"Even if you consider that to be true, that I _am_ Kira, I told you that I didn't take your cake after you accused me that one time, and it turned out to have been Aizawa."

"Yes, but of course I never actually thought that you did it. I was using you as bait to get the real villain of the story to confess. Everyone knows that you don't eat sweets."

"Whatever." Raito sighed heavily. "Ryuuzaki, I'm going to visit Misa. I'm sure that she's worried about me." _Plus, I have to find out what the situation is. If there's another Kira out there, I need to learn about him and get him under my control as soon as possible._

"Of course, Raito-kun. She did seem very worried about you when she showed up this morning, so it is probably for the best. I'll give you the day off, so please return by noon tomorrow."

"Don't worry. I won't be gone long." _I can't afford to be. Rem would disappear, which would make me look even more suspicious._

After waving goodbye to L, his father, and the rest of the investigative team, he set off for Misa's apartment, a place he had never been and had never wanted to go. Once he arrived, he mentally prepared himself before pressing the doorbell.

The intercom immediately crackled to life. "Misa-Misa here! Please identify yourself, okay?"

"Misa, it's me, Raito." The door opened immediately, and Misa leapt out into Raito's arms.

"Oh, Raito-kun! I missed you so much! Did that mean Ryuuzaki lock you up again? If he hurt you, I'd be glad to go over there and give that L a piece of my mind… and learn his real name so that we can kill him."

"I missed you too, Misa," Raito lied. "But don't go to all that trouble for me. Besides, I'd rather spend time with you, anyway."

"You're so sweet! But come on in, I was just making some lovely cookies!" Misa ushered him in, showing him to a powdery blue couch that was entirely too plush and squashy for Raito's taste. She then disappeared into the kitchen, returning a minute later with a plate of round and piping hot morsels. After waiting for them to cool sufficiently, Raito took one, just to be polite. To his surprise they actually turned out to be quite delicious. "Oh, you like them? I'm so glad! I've been practicing recently, 'cuz I'm gonna be a good housewife for you! But, um… why did you come to visit me today, Raito-kun?"

"Well, I hadn't seen you for weeks, so I wanted to check in with you. How's the model work going?"

"It's going fine…"

"Good… Uh… Gotten any new job offers recently?"

"A few, but Raito, it's not like you to ask about me and it's even less like you to tiptoe around a subject. What's on your mind?"

Raito cursed inwardly; he had forgotten that Misa did have a brain, even if she sometimes chose not to use it. "Well… you know how I called you two weeks ago, asking if you had killed Paris Hilton?"

"Um, yes… That's not exactly the kind of thing that you forget right away…"

"Well, the night before she died, I was watching the news with L, and he mentioned something about how he wished she would die. And the next morning, well, you know what happened… Since I was with him at the time, and since he apparently thinks that the world revolves around him, I was suspected immediately, and he wouldn't let me go for 13 days because of that fake rule I wrote in. What's been happening? There isn't a new Kira, is there?"

"No, not as far as I know. Also, even though most people still think that we –Kira- did it, the official autopsy report says that because of all the rich and greasy food she ate before she started… watching her weight, the cholesterol buildup in her arteries was enough to finally kill her."

"Wow." Raito was impressed. "So you knew to pay attention to the news reports from my phone call?"

"That's not exactly it… She's been the world's foremost item of news for almost three weeks straight, an alarming trend which shows no sign of stopping."

"All right, Misa… Here's what we're going to do to get revenge on L. Ryuuzaki complained about how she was always on television, so he must really be getting sick of it. Now, Misa, if you don't mind seeing her face some more, I propose that we write a letter. A letter from us. From Kira. This letter will tell the world that we had nothing to do with her death, and will understandably garner a lot of media attention, thereby ensuring that L is frustrated for a very long time."

"So far it sounds good!"

"Yeah, but we're going to have to be very careful, because it'll be his only clue for a while. We can't leave anything that he could trace back to us, or we'll be caught for sure. First, we should write out a draft of the letter, and then we'll have to figure out a way to deliver it."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I know that you've had experience with the letter writing before, but I think that we can make the process a little less obvious, so that we definitely won't be found out. Once we've finished here, we'll just have to sit back and wait for our plan to be completed." Raito straightened and began howling with laughter. After a second of indecision, Misa joined him.

"Oy, keep it down next door, eh? I'm trying to watch my programs!"

---

Aside from learning that Misa was a good cook and that she lived next to an old British bloke who very rarely wore pants, Raito discovered that the plan needed to be more complex than even he had imagined, and Raito was quite capable of imagining some fairly complex plans. Nevertheless, he sat down with L a few nights later with a sort of fearful anticipation; if everything had gone well, which Raito knew it had, the news report featuring his letter would be on shortly.

"This is a breaking news update! We have just received a mysterious letter –a letter claiming to be from Kira himself!" the pretty, vivacious reporter and known ex-felon exclaimed. "This marks only the second known communication from the true Kira, and it's an important message showing Kira's view of a recent controversy. I'm talking, of course, about the death of Paris-sama."

Beside him, L groaned and slumped backwards into his comfortable chair. "What's wrong, Ryuuzaki? If it really is from Kira, it could be just the clue we need to find him once and for all, and punish him!"

"Yes, Raito-kun, _if._ More likely, it's from a Kira fangirl/boy… or _another_ Kira…" L sighed heavily. "Not to mention, it's still Perisu. I am wholeheartedly sick of that case."

"Even so, this could be-"

"Be quiet, Yagami-kun. The program is starting." Although L had initially seemed reluctant, it seemed that his dislike of Paris Hilton was weaker than his desire to nab Kira once and for all.

"And now for the letter." The woman cleared her throat and read clearly and directly, as if she had practiced several times beforehand, which Raito knew that she had.

"To whom it may concern: This is a message from the one you have dubbed Kira. It has recently come to my attention that the majority of the world holds me responsible for the death of one Hiruton Perisu. Some have gone so far as to claim that I am one of the relatives of the deceased. As a powerful and benevolent being, it is my sincere wish to remove blame from those unfortunate souls as soon as possible. Even though it is my hope that the world will soon come to recognize me as a protector of justice with the people's best interests at heart, I know that to many of you, I am simply a killer. To remove that stigma of blame from those unjustly accused, I have a few messages that I hope you will pay utmost attention to.

"First, those people are innocent. Please consider that they are going through a very hard time in their lives, and to be accused of murdering their beloved sibling, daughter, or friend when they are mourning the loss of that sibling, daughter, or friend must cause feelings of anger, confusion, and betrayal. They may become unstable in their grief, and try to cause harm to themselves and others. Therefore, I must ask those of you who have been unfairly persecuting them to desist, lest you incur my wrath. I judge those whose sins are far more severe than this, but that does not mean that I will hesitate to destroy those who hold this taboo opinion.

"My second and more important message is this: I did not kill that woman. It is true that se died of a heart attack, which is why many of immediately cast the shadow of blame upon me, but, as the coroner's report officially states, it was a result of her own poor eating habits, not because of my intervention. Although it may appear as if it was my fault, I assure that it is nothing but unhappiest coincidence.

"Lest some remain unconvinced, let me now explain to you exactly why I am not at fault.

"To begin with, I, Kira, exist primarily to judge those who have gone against the laws of this world. Paris committed a crime, it is true, but in my eyes, it was a petty, minor crime. While it certainly could have led to the death or injury of others, the fact remains that it did not. I would have expected Ms. Hilton, after her time of imprisonment, to learn how consequential her actions could have been, and thus to refrain from driving while intoxicated again. I exist to destroy those who have evaded the law and have escaped the sometimes flawed legal system. I exist to punish those who have not been punished adequately, and I personally believe that her punishment would have been adequate. It is meant for those who lived long, full lives, and for those who have corrupted their souls entirely beyond redemption.

"Some of you have also claimed that I was annoyed by the ceaseless reporting on the victim's case. I _was_, I admit, a little annoyed that even in an independent, self-sufficient nation, which needs not pay attention to the matters of the United States and its entertainment industry, it is not only the most important but the _only_ news story. This obviously posed a problem to my ideals, as I cannot focus on avenging innocents when the original crimes are not reported in the first place. However, I knew that they would eventually stop, and that even after her incarceration, she could only give a certain number of exclusive interviews before something more important and pertinent to me came up. My ideals cannot be achieved overnight, and I like to think that I have enough self-control and intelligence to know that her death would be even more highly publicized. I would never rashly call for her murder in exasperation. Although I disapprove of how the media handled this, I would never do something that incredibly… _stupid_."

L showed his displeasure at that last statement by clearing his throat and crossing his arms over his chest belligerently. Raito smiled the friendly smile of an innocent, non-Kira chum giving his buddy a hard time. "Ha, looks like Kira's mocking you. No wonder you think I'm Kira, he and I are on the same page a lot of the time, it would seem."

"Raito-kun, please remain quiet. If you agree that you are like Kira, you of all people should also agree that it is in your best interest to let me pay attention to the program, so that we can catch the true Kira, if you are _not_ the true Kira, and clear your name. The only reason you might not want me to listen is if you are Kira, and even then, I would assume that you would put enough effort into your letter that you would want me to pay attention to whatever misleading messages you left for me. I doubt that you would think I would not hear it at all, missing a potential message to a contact or cohort of yours, unless you are just delaying the inevitable, having recently discovered an obvious error in your plan, or stalling for time while you are free to act without my knowledge. And if that is the case, you should know that I will be watching you very carefully for quite some time after this news report, especially considering that the percent chance that you are Kira has increased by 12 since the show began," L said, speaking softly so as not to miss a word.

Raito rolled his eyes. "And I thought that I was the one who tended to overthink things… I was just making some friendly conversation… Don't you like talking to me, Yagami Raito, number-one-Kira-suspect and your first ever friend?"

"Not right now."

"Well, that's not very nice."

"It's not very nice of you to keep interrupting me, either. Now, please stop before I am forced to take what you might call 'extreme measures.'"

Raito wasn't paying much attention, having just thought of something new to taunt L with. "Hey, you know, I just remembered… That whole 'rashly call for her murder' thing? It might sound like me, but you know, there were other people around too. So are you 100 percent positive that Matsuda isn't some kind of evil super-genius? Because he might be such a good actor that you didn't ever suspect him. Don't feel too bad, though, I never suspected him before now either. He had us all fooled, that Kira… but we'll get him now. Isn't that right, Ryuuzaki?" It might not be a good idea to keep goading L like that, but Raito didn't really care.

Actually, it turned out to be a horrible idea. "Raito-kun, I do not think that Matsuda is Kira, and more to the point, I told you not to interrupt me." L snapped his fingers, and, like a gangster movie, Aizawa and Mogi ran in from the other room. Mogi pulled Raito's hands behind his back and tied them up, while Aizawa restrained his feet. Then they placed a piece of duct tape over his mouth.

The news report was just wrapping up, and it certainly went out with a bang; the reporter screamed and clutched at her (rather well-endowed) chest before dying a slow, painful, and tragic death, all on live, national television, which quite hurt ratings. Raito dared to laugh joyfully at his complete and total victory (duct tape aside), which wasn't very daring since the sound was so muffled that no one could tell that he was laughing in triumph. L took the time to rewind and re-watch the parts he had missed before, as he had recently sprung for TiVo, which was pretty much the best invention of all time.

A few hours later, L's analysis was complete. He had correctly deduced that the news anchor, after receiving the letter from Raito… Kira, had memorized it and then burned the entire contents, leaving not a single trace that could be connected to Raito… or anyone for that matter. Raito had been untied, but he was having a very hard time getting the tape off. He was peeling it of extremely slowly, wincing every few seconds. He was a little more than half done when L noticed his dilemma. "Raito-kun, you know that if you just rip it off really quick, you'll get it over with and it'll only hurt for a second." So saying, L leaned over and tore it all the way off with a cheerful smile.

"BLOODY HELL!" Raito howled, clapping a hand to his injured face. "Why'd you do that? You practically tore my lips off, you bastard!" Now that he looked closely, the afore-mentioned "cheerful smile" was actually cheerfully _sadistic_, wasn't it? The pain wasn't going away, so Raito felt that he had the right to be angry, and as such decided to punch L in the gut. "That HURT, dammit!"

L's idea of "once-is-once" was to kick Raito in the face, right where he had ripped the tape off, which certainly added insult to injury, except for the part where it kind of just added injury to injury. Raito fell down, sprawling across the floor just in time for Matsuda to walk into the room and trip over him. Now, Matsuda is not a very heavy person. But he was carrying a huge briefcase full of paperweights, which Soichirou had asked him to bring in since their many papers were always flying around in the slight breeze of the air conditioning, and a cup of coffee, which L had told him to bring when Matsuda asked if there was anything useful that he could do. Matsuda flung his arms out to catch his fall, and so his elbows stabbed Raito in the stomach, driving all the air out of his lungs. Raito could only gasp for oxygen as the case slammed down into his crotch and the scalding liquid poured not just over the tender skin around his mouth, but over his entire face and neck. And as Matsuda apologized profusely and L watched curiously, Raito was unable to do anything more than scream.

After a few hours, his voice was gone, and so he decided to call it a day. He was still in pain, since he had sustained several burns, but it was already fading, his skin becoming numb. But he couldn't just take refuge in his room and cry himself to sleep, because L was very, very suspicious, and wouldn't let him go anywhere alone, not even the bathroom, for fear that he would put whatever devilish Kira-plot he was plotting into motion. Sadly, Raito didn't have a follow-up plan, seeing as how the first one was so perfect, and they were both made needlessly uncomfortable. But of course L had no way of knowing that, and the only way that Raito could explain it to him would be to admit that he was, in fact, Kira, which really wouldn't help anything since L would insist on watching him even _more_ closely upon learning such a fact. Raito was therefore forced to fall asleep on his back with L sitting right next to him and staring unblinkingly into his eyes while every part of him ached. It wasn't easy, although he finally dropped off of sheer exhaustion around 2 am.

In the morning, L decided to break out the ol' handcuffs and attached himself to Raito again. Raito didn't particularly like this. "Why are you doing this again? Couldn't you just lock me up again?"

"Well, then you might just be able to fool the surveillance… likewiththepotatochipbagthatonetime…"

"Like what, now?"

"Oh, nothing! Let's just say that I don't trust you!" L beamed.

After a day of _intense_ work following the new lead, Raito was sick of L and craving cookies. "Hey, uh, Ryuuzaki, do you think that we could go and see Misa? Knowing her, she'll probably think that you threw me into some dungeon somewhere, and she'll be worried… Plus she makes amazing cookies… so that should be reason enough for you of all people to want to go along with that."

"First off, I was about to suggest that myself, second, you didn't really need to give me a second reason, although now I'm expecting some pretty good cookies, and third and finally, we're going to have to take additional precautions."

"Huh? What? Why?"

"Well, so I don't die, of course," L said, donning a mysterious plastic mask, "because it seems to me that Misa might have regained the power of shinigami eyes, so if she saw my face, she'd be able to learn my name and kill me. Also, it might be kind of weird-looking if we walked around handcuffed together in public, so I'll just take these off…" L removed the chain links and pulled something else out. "Therefore, I will use this to keep you close by me at all times, so that you don't get away with anything."

Raito looked at the thing. It looked like some sort of monkey. "And… what exactly are you going to do with _that_

"Well, I'm going to put it on you." It _was_ a monkey, and it was meant to wrap around Raito's neck. Not Raito, specifically, but a child between the ages of two and five. "It's a little leash, proven by parents everywhere to be effective in keeping the target contained. Plus, it's cute, so I'm sure Misa will approve."

While walking down the street towards Misa's apartment, Raito reflected that it was perhaps less conspicuous to walk next to L with the occasional metallic glint flashing off a wrist than to be led along by a masked man on a leash meant for unruly toddlers.

"Hey, Mommy, what are those strange men doing?" one of said unruly toddlers asked, laughing and pointing to the pair.

"Oh… my… N-nothing, Kentaro! Th-they're not doing anything…" The mother scooped up her son and rushed away, shooting one last scorching look at Raito.

Raito was highly ashamed and really not very happy with L at the moment. He vowed never again to be accused of being a criminal. Which might be hard, since he was kind of the worst killer in human history.

Soon enough, they escaped the searching gazes and outright stares of other pedestrians when they finally arrived at Misa's apartment. Or at least, they _would_ have, if L hadn't been paranoid that Misa would somehow see his face and be able to learn his name and kill him. Raito pressed the buzzer with a sigh; her apartment was on the bottom floor, with only four or five steps separating them from the sidewalk, which meant that they would be getting absolutely no privacy. "Hey, Misa, it's me. Come on out and bring some cookies with you if you have any, okay?" Soon enough, Misa appeared, carrying a tray.

"Wow, Raito, two visits in less than two weeks! I'm glad you came… but why is he here? And what are you _wearing_?"

Raito took a cookie absently. "Ask _him_."

L took a cookie as well. "Well, as you know, your boyfriend is Kira –excuse me, accused of being Kira by me– so in the interest of bringing him to justice, I have taken it upon myself to watch him at all times," he explained. He then skillfully evaded the second question by complimenting her baking ability. "And before you say anything else, may I just say that these are fantastic? They are quite tasty, and they have a delicious crumbly texture, the likes of which I've never seen before. You'll have to give me your recipe!"

"Well, I purposefully did that by adding some extra flour, because when I was at Raito's house once, his mom made cookies that were quite like these ones, and mothers always know best…" Their conversation went on and on, and Raito became quite bored. He was convinced that he was going to get fat if he just kept eating cookies, but there really wasn't anything else for him to do. He didn't really want to join the conversation, and although he toyed vaguely with the idea of throwing himself down the stairs, he decided against it on the grounds that it would probably really hurt, although he took some solace in the knowledge that L's grip was so tenacious that he'd probably drag L down with him.

"Well, I suppose we should be getting home, we have to work in the morning, after all," L concluded.

"Okay, bye, Raito-kun!" Everything happened very fast then. Raito took a final cookie; Misa rushed at him to give him a farewell kiss, and while desperately trying to avoid her, his crumbly cookie, well, crumbled. He lunged for the falling piece while stepping backwards in an attempt to protect his sore and much-abused face. He caught the cookie, straightened up, overbalanced, and inadvertently took another step backwards. As he arced through the air towards oncoming headlights, he could only reflect on how ironic it was that he was falling off the stairs because of L, not pulling him along in desperation, and how he, Kira, was going to die as a result of circumstances regarding a murder he did not commit, for once. Misa screamed, there was a sickening crunch, and everything went black.

---

Raito woke to bright white light and the face of a heavenly angel. Then he realized that it was L, still wearing his stupid mask, and decided that he was either in hell or in a hospital of sorts. Since neither heaven nor hell existed, after all, he was able to rule out those possibilities to learn the truth. Upon this realization, the strange numbness that he felt disappeared, replaced by a tingling sensation that flared into an outright, burning pain along each of his joints. He groaned involuntarily; Misa and L started slightly and looked down at him worriedly, although it was hard to tell what expression L actually had because of the mask.

Whatever anxiety he was lacking was made up for by Misa, who immediately began alternately babbling questions about Raito's condition and raucously blaming everyone except Raito for the accident, with special emphasis on L and his ancestors. Raito could not muster the courage and energy he needed to sit up and shut her up, and the small movement that he gingerly attempted led to a searing flash that made his head throb painfully. He looked into L's eyes pleadingly, wishing –no, _begging_– that he would help him.

Apparently, L thought that he had tortured Raito enough, because he pressed a button on a remote control on the table next to him, and a rather burly nurse appeared and dragged Misa away. L came to sit down on a chair in front of Raito's bed, and pressed another button, this one gently lifting Raito into a seated position.

"So… Raito. I believe you'd like to know the extent of the damage that the car did to you. Fortunately, the driver was a very slow old woman, and she was only going about 15 miles an hour when you ran into her. However, you were pushed into a different, parked car, which accounts for most of your injuries. Three of your ribs are cracked, your wrist has been dislocated, and you have a pretty bad concussion. You'll be staying here overnight for observation." L paused. "Oh… and… I don't think that you killed Paris Hilton. Don't misunderstand. I _know_ you sent that letter, and who better to send a legitimate message from Kira than Kira himself? But… I believe you, this time at least. However, you should know that I'm still a bit angry at you."

"W-why?" Raito managed to croak.

"Well, because you took the last cookie, of course! But this is no time to be joking. You need your rest…"

Raito inexplicably thought of how L had mentioned their childish natures and felt a strange chill of foreboding. "And so, good night, Raito-kun." L pressed one final button. This button did not recline Raito into a comfortable horizontal position. This button released a spring which folded the bed in half, making a sort of whimpering Raito-sandwich.

"Oh, looks like I pushed the wrong one. Oh well, I'm sure someone will be by to help you in the morning…"

And then the door closed.

* * *

Xiana: Oh, I'm so mean to Raito, but you know it's only because I love him, right? Well... I love torturing him at least... heh.Well, what did you think of it? I'm sorry that I haven't updated recently, and I know that this is a lame excuse, but school's been a bitch. No, really. I didn't get anything written for, like, 3 weeks! And did you like how I filled in the plothole from the last story (Misa has shinigami eyes, therefore she can see L's name at the Christmas party) with something a little... different?

And now it is time for omake. Wheee!

* * *

He took the pen carefully in his hand. He touched the thin sheets of paper he had stolen with his other hand, reveling in the glorious feeling of power that came with the feel of the smooth surface against a finger. 

So this was what it felt like to be Kira, was it? Well, he could understand why Kira felt he had such control over everything. With this pen and this paper, he could kill.

And he had.

But one death hadn't been enough. It is never enough. Once you have reached the breaking point, once you have broken the rules once, it is so easy to break again. And he knew that it hadn't been enough to kill Paris. The world was a better place without her. But she wasn't the only one who corrupted it.

"Yes… I think I know who my next victim should be…" He had researched it carefully. He wanted to destroy the worst offenders before even considering the lower levels of filth, the criminal scum that Kira was so focused on.

He uncapped the pen and slowly wrote 12 letters. _Lindsay Lohan_. Forty seconds passed, and the deed was done. Another worthless blot on society was gone. Victory would soon be his. Soon he could work with Kira. The world would be a more enlightened place for their combined efforts.

He could not help but laugh. His plan was too perfect. No one would ever suspect him, and he could never be caught. There was no evidence.

I will be victorious. The world is a better place because I exist in it, because I bring justice to those who cannot understand it. I am powerful, I am great, I will be the god of the new world, and Kira, yes, even Kira, will stand by my side, though he will never achieve the greatness that I will. Only I can do this. Only I will do this.

"Don't you have something more important to be doing?"

"…Huh?"

"Well, if you have time to sit around and laugh, you have time to go get me a cup of coffee."

"Oh… Oh… Of course… Right away…" _That's right, Raito, order me around while you still have the chance. If you do not join my side, I will kill you as well…_

"And quit laughing, while you're at it. Honestly, you're such an airhead, Matsuda!"

* * *

Next: Hereditary 


	13. Hereditary

Xiana: New chapter! ZOMG Death! On the anniversary and everything… -shot for knowing random details like that-

So basically this is my shot at giving L a past type thing. I'm definitely not too sure on the canon details, so if I get anything wrong feel free to correct me! Quotes near the end swiped from the manga, English translation :( I feel this is sort of in character, but honestly it's not one of my stronger pieces… That said, I hope you'll read it anyway :D

Oh! And I did all my outside research right, I'm pretty sure. Such as the third of November was a Sunday back in 1985. I know you probably don't care, but I'm getting my facts straight no matter what you say!!!!!!

…Oh right, you _don't_ care, do you?

Plotholes? I think not!

Suggested Listening: "I Need Some Sleep" by Eels. (Shrek Soundtrack, oh yeah!) Es un cantante muy similar a mi querido L. -shot for bad Spanish-

* * *

13. Hereditary

* * *

"There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while, Ryuuzaki…" 

"Yes, Misa-san?"

"Well… why do you… look so weird?"

"I… beg your pardon?"

"Yeah, I've been wondering that as well."

"…Me too. Sorry, Ryuuzaki."

"…I see. I guess I might expect something like that from Misa and Matsuda, but not Yagami-san, and especially not Raito…" L sighed sadly. "But… what exactly do you think is so 'weird-looking' about me?"

"Well, just about everything!" pretty much everyone yelled at once. They then went on to clarify, one at a time.

"Your hair is so messy! Do you ever comb it?" Misa said.

"Your eyes are big and dark and round! Er… it's not bad or anything, but it's not quite usual…" Matsuda said.

"Yes, and the dark marks beneath them… Have you been getting enough sleep, Ryuuzaki?" Soichirou added.

"And, most importantly, to me at least, your nose. It's a bit off-center," Raito criticized.

"You should take that back, Raito-kun. My nose is perfectly straight and quite well-formed, if I do say so myself. Surely you can find something else about me that bothers you."

"Fine. You have horrible posture because you're always slouching, you can't sit like a normal human, you can't hold things like a normal human, you rely far too heavily on logic and mathematics, you refuse to believe you're wrong, you're antisocial and a bit of a baby, you wear the same exact outfit every day, you suck your thumb whenever you're thinking, you only eat sugar, and in such amounts that I'm honestly surprised you don't literally weigh half a ton, though you're so thin you're practically anorexic, and you're always stacking stuff! ALWAYS!"

"Huh, it seems I do…" L looked up from his perfect stack of sugar cubes, which he had made when Raito was talking. "I didn't notice. I know why I do everything else, but this… Hmm…"

"So… tell us the reasons why!" everyone shouted.

"Hmmm, well, it appears I don't have much of a choice. There's nothing that will let you figure out my true identity, the name that will allow Kira to kill me, from this story. I destroyed the pertinent records long ago, and I've covered my tracks well."

"Get on with it, then!"

"Right, right. Just give me a second to gather my thoughts, Raito-kun. It all happened a long time ago, and it's not exactly an easy story to tell." L paused for a second, ate a sugar cube, and began his narrative.

"I get my looks from my parents. In the clichéd vein of Harry Potter, I look like my father, but with my mother's eyes. You may not find me necessarily attractive, but I assure you, my mother was a very beautiful woman, with long, dark hair and bright, emotional eyes. I don't remember her very well, but I'm sure about that much, at least.

"We lived in a big house by the river. We weren't rich, but we had inherited the property and a fair sum from an aunt of my dad's, and we were able to support ourselves fairly well. There was a village down the hill. Even in those days, I wasn't very social, and I never played with the other children. I remember they thought I was stuck up, that I thought I was better than them. I did, but not for the reasons they thought. I was simply smarter, and spent my time reading in my parents' library instead. The bakery of that town sold excellent pastries, and we went to the church every Sunday. I always listened to the full sermons instead of participating in the children's school, and the adults who noticed my curious interest often commented on how surprisingly intelligent I was. Other than that, I remember nothing about that town. I don't need to. It is no longer a part of my life.

"I've said before that I don't particularly care to celebrate birthdays. It was Matsuda who asked, I believe, probably to set up some kind of surprise party. I'll tell you now that my birthday is October 31st. All Hallow's Eve. Even as a child, I liked candy, and who could pass up the opportunity to get a bunch of freebies? These all-night romps through the countryside took priority, and when I was six, we decided simply to celebrate on the third of November instead.

"And, well, what happened that day is basically the reason I turned out so weird, as you say." L was smiling, but it was a bitter, ironic smile. "We decided on the third because my father wouldn't have to work, seeing as it was a Sunday. You see, he was very important, if not necessarily well-paid, at the company he worked at, so he often had to work on Saturdays, though he always made it a point not to come in on Sundays. He said it was so he could spend time with his wife, his son, and the Lord, the three most important people in his life… He was a very religious man.

"We were getting ready to go to church. I was being a stubborn, obstinate child, and I refused to dress up nicely or brush out my hair, saying that if God wanted me to look nice for Him, He shouldn't have Created bedhead or made jeans so comfortable. My father went along with it, but only because it was my birthday, I'm sure. I'm sure you've guessed by now that on that day I looked exactly the same way I look now.

"We were all standing in my room when the doorbell rand. My father went to answer it while my mother remained upstairs with me, probably still trying to get me to fix my appearance."

L took a deep breath, and continued in a calm voice. "And that's when we heard the gunshot."

Nearly everyone gasped. Raito, the exception, was cruel, and did not gasp. Then he realized that Kira was an inhuman killer who also wouldn't gasp, and because he _wasn't_ Kira, and because he wanted _Ryuuzaki_ to know that he wasn't Kira, he Looked Alarmed, which was the best he could do at this point, for gasping now would just make L suspicious. That, and it would sound stupid.

"My mother told me to hide in the closet. After making sure that I did as she instructed –which I did, rebellious child though I was– she ran out to the landing. When I heard her scream, I knew that my father must be dead. The killers must have pointed their guns at her, and they backed her into my room. I saw what happened through a slight opening in the door.

"They asked if there was anyone else in the house. She said no. They asked whose room this was. She said that it belonged to her son, but that he was at his grandparents' house. They didn't seem convinced. She explained that it was his birthday today, and they were watching him while she and her husband prepared for the event. They sniggered that they didn't believe a woman that had just watched her husband's murder could make something like that up. I was so, so proud of her for being able to fool them. She… saved my life.

"They forced her to tell them the location of all the valuables in the house, and one of them fetched everything while the other kept guard over my mother. Eventually, they had taken everything. My mother asked if they were finished. They said almost. She asked if they were going to kill her. They said not yet. Then they forced her down onto the bed and took turns raping her while the other kept his gun pointed at her head. She … never cried out. Not once.

"I wonder if any of you are able to understand my position at that time. Perhaps Amane-san, whose parents were killed only recently, and in a similar manner, can.

"As for the rest of you, try to imagine. I was a six-year-old child, huddled in the corner of a dark closet as far away as I could get, knowing I must remain _absolutely _still, _absolutely_ quiet while outside, in _my_ room, on _my_ bed, unspeakable things were being done to my mother. I suppose it's fair to say that it had a bit of an effect on me.

"Obviously, that is where all those behavioral problems of mine stem from. And that is why I slouch, Raito-kun. That is why I don't sit straight. In that dark closet, in that corner, I tucked my knees to my chest and hunched my shoulders up. I was instinctively trying to protect myself: to present a smaller target and to cover up vital organs, as if it would do anything against a gun should they discover me. And, Raito-kun, I do not suck my thumb. I chew on it. On the third of November, I stuck my thumb in my mouth and bit down hard to keep myself from crying out. I knew that I could not let my mother sacrifice herself for no purpose; I knew that she was not going to live, for they had already stated their intent to kill her.

"For countless, endless hours, I sat there until I heard that awful shot. Then they congratulated themselves on what they obviously thought was a job well done and left. I waited until I heard the front door slam shut. Then my mother called out to me, using my real name, of course. Apparently when she had been shot, they had aimed for the heart but had been slightly off-target. She pretended to be dead until they left, but in truth she was already close to death. She asked me to sit beside her in her final moments, and not to call the police until she passed on. Nothing could save her now, she said, and she wanted to die with her son beside her.

"I believed her. What else could I do? I took her hand, and she began telling me not to worry, that she was sorry but that everything would work out. She said that their will would provide for me, that I had nothing to fear. She was reassuring me, her nearly-hysterical son, on her deathbed, but I felt that in a way, she was reassuring herself that once she had passed on, everything would somehow work out for her boy. I clutched at her hand until her breathing grew harsh and labored. I clutched at her had as the blood slowly stopped trickling and her face began to grow pale. I clutched at her hand, and with her last breath, she whispered first my father's name, then mine.

"And then she was gone.

"From where we lived, far away from the town though it was, you could always hear the church bells ringing. And they started ringing, calling people to worship their almighty and merciful deity, at the moment her heart finally stopped. For the first time, I heard not joy and gaiety in their clear tone, but only a mournful toll.

"And they sounded the same knell two days later, at the funeral. I had no living relatives, and the only ones who had known my parents were the people of the village and those who had worked beside them. There was no need for an inquest, an autopsy. The cause of death was fairly obvious. The criminals had long since disappeared far from where our local police could track them. The funeral was held immediately. They were buried on the fifth of November, and so the bells rang.

"The will my parents made said that in the event of both their deaths, I was to be sent to live with a man that all of you know as Watari. He was there that day, and as the rain poured down on us, he gently took my hand, shielding us both with his umbrella. And he said that it was okay to cry.

"I did not cry then. I did not ever cry.

"Maybe that's why I come off as unemotional to you, Raito-kun. I hid my feelings from him and from everyone else, even myself, on that day, and have been in that habit ever since.

"I went to live with Watari. I learned there, and I grew stronger, too. I was determined to be able to protect others, as I could not do for my parents. I took up the martial arts –judo, karate, and the like– but I never used my hands. You see, I had made myself believe that nothing, nothing deserved to replace the feel of my mother's palm on mine. From then on, I have only ever used the tips of my fingers to pick up or carry items.

"I suppose that you will want to hear the end of the story, and having come this far already, I don't see why I shouldn't tell you. From that day, I wanted revenge. I wanted those criminals caught and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I wanted them condemned to death. To that end, I studied and learned all that I could in hopes of becoming a private detective. At the age of twelve, I started my search. At the age of thirteen, I caught them.

"I testified at the trial. They were sentenced to life in prison. On the way out, one of them tried to speak to me, perhaps to explain his actions. And… I didn't let him. I didn't want him to have a reason. I wanted –needed– him to be some sort of monster, the monster that had ruined my life. To let him be human would have made me less than human, would invalidate my whole reason for existence.

"And you now, I've never once regretted making that decision. I didn't want to have been overcome by the emotion that would have spilled out of me had I allowed him to talk. I didn't want him to be able to justify anything, to make me doubt the evil of their deaths. I didn't want him to apologize, to be able to redeem his utter evil in a plea to me.

"They're both dead now. One died early on. The other, who wanted to speak to me, was killed by Kira. I was not grateful to Kira for doing this. I wasn't exactly sad, either. I simply felt… nothing!

"You can guess the rest. I wasn't satisfied with just solving my own problems, so I formed a sort of detective agency to right the wrongs of the world. Even then, I understood the value of a hidden identity, so I took to calling myself by a single letter. 'L.' I worked on building my reputation until I was considered one of the greatest detectives alive. I created some new characters, with false personalities and backgrounds, and then I _was_ the greatest detective… all three of them, in fact. I use each person for different purposes, of course. Not one of them has ever failed. And they never will.

"I destroyed all the records pertaining to my life in that town. The court records are so protected that it would be next to impossible to find them. Documents regarding my life, my birth certificate and the like, are hidden away in a place that I guarantee no one could ever find. There are no existing photographs of me in the entire world. L and the person I once was cannot be linked in any way. Sadly, I'm still the same. Still exactly the same as I was. I'm still a six-year-old in this aging body, and I may always be. Why else do I dress the same, look the same, have the same taste? Why am I so childish about everything? That house, the one I lived in, the one I died in, why couldn't I just burn it down? It should have been so easy… just light the match, throw it, and turn your back on your past. Move on. Destroy the last connection, the last way anyone could ever find you. But in the end, I couldn't do it. I'm still stuck in this loop." L's voice cracked suddenly, as if he had suddenly been overcome by emotion, but he continued on as if nothing had happened.

"And that is all there is to tell. Now, please understand. I do not tell you this to help fill you in, to help you better comprehend my character. It's not because I want you to be able to understand why I do the things that I do, to stop you from criticizing some of those things. It's not so you'll feel sorry for me, and I doubt that you would, anyway. And it's not because I'm just trying to fool you with a false story… although, come to think of it, I might be. It is a 37 percent chance. I guess you just don't know, do you?" L said thoughtfully.

"I tell you this because there's no reason not to. I do not like deception." Raito coughed loudly. "No, it's true, Raito-kun, whether you'd like to believe it or not. I do not like deception, but that does not mean that I will not use it, if I feel the situation qualifies it. The reason I told you is that I have absolutely nothing to lose by it, everyone, and there is nothing that Kira or any other one of you can gain from it… unless you genuinely want to know more about me, without any ulterior motives behind that curiosity. I can't see that coming from anyone here… except maybe Matsuda…"

"All right!" Matsuda cheered.

"He's only saying that because you're the only one simple enough to do that," Raito muttered.

"That, or I'm the only one that he can actually trust!" Matsuda countered.

"Are you implying that _I_ am not trustworthy?" Soichirou barked.

"And just-"

"Raito… I think that he has something else to say," Misa said, so uncharacteristically serious that the others immediately stopped bickering to look back to L.

He smiled back. "As I was saying, you can't gain anything from what I've told you, but I can. It may seem as if I just divulged my weaknesses, but despite the fact that I'm stuck in this loop, I completely understand my situation, and if any of you…" His eyes lingered on Raito for a moment before he continued. "If one of you attempts to take advantage of this, it will be fairly transparent. But overall, I just hope that you won't see me differently now that you know about my past. Shall we get back to working on the Kira case, now that we've all had a short break?"

Everyone nodded or muttered something in agreement, unable to meet his gaze.

"Good."

* * *

"What's wrong, Ryuuzaki?" 

"Nothing, Raito. It seems I'm having trouble getting to sleep tonight."

"Ryuuzaki, do you even sleep at all?"

"If I did not sleep, I would not be able to live for very long. The body needs sleep to refresh itself, and-"

"No, no, I know that. But you're always awake when I go to sleep, and you're awake when I wake up, too."

"Well, I usually sleep less than you. As a teenager, you need to ensure that you sleep for at least eight hours a night, if not ten."

"Ryuuzaki, are you… really okay? Don't try to evade the question. Just tell me."

"Well, I think that I'm okay. Obviously, you think otherwise. Ever since that… incident that I told you about, I've had trouble sleeping at night."

"Is… is that really all?"

"What was that, Raito-kun?"

"N-nothing."

* * *

"Ryuuzaki, you're not looking so good… C'mon, let's take a break." 

"No, Raito-kun. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. You should stop pretending to worry about me. It's not going to make me forget that you're Kira, you know."

"I… I'm not…"

* * *

"Are you okay…? Anyone would be surprised by a monster like that."

* * *

"There's something different about him recently… I only hope he hasn't somehow regained his memories…" 

"…Mmm… What're ya talkin' about, Ryuuzaki."

"Oh, nothing. Go back to sleep, Raito-kun."

* * *

"Everyone, the shiniga-"

* * *

Raito took a step forward and gazed hesitantly around the bleak, forbidding landscape. Misa, who was standing a ways behind him, shivered and huddled into her thick coat. 

"So this… is where it happened."

"His story… it was true?"

"Yeah."

"How'd you figure it out, Raito-kun?"

"Oh, that… I looked up the records from the court case. It was fairly easy to find this place after that."

"But I thought he said that there was no way to track him from what he told you, that you couldn't figure out who he really was."

"He may have erased all traces leading to him from his previous life, but that doesn't mean that he completely destroyed that previous life. It's not impossible to find someone after you know his name."

"You learned his name? When? Is that how you… how he died?"

"No. Rem wrote his name down in her Note, and she died as well… for your sake, Misa."

"So after she died… you took her Note and read his name?" When Raito didn't immediately respond, Misa pressed further. "You did, didn't you?"

"Yes."

"That doesn't seem very noble of you."

"I know." They stood silently, looking over the estate. The wind picked up, and Misa snuggled further into her coat. Raito let the wind cut through him.

"To think it started here. L… You were unable to finish it. I must finish it for you." He took out a match. Struck it. Fed it gently to the dry, waving grass.

"…Goodbye… Lawliet…"

* * *

Xiana: Dude. Depressing-ness and stuff. This was originally supposed to be a happy story…? Personally, I like the idea of Raito not being a noble person. It makes me happy :D Hopefully this thing was in character, and I'll try and get the next chapter of this and Line, which all of you guys should read if you haven't already, up soon. 

Don't forget to review! o-O

Next: A Little R'n'R


	14. A Little R'n'R

Xiana: Okay so I lied when I said the next chapter would be Cherry. I felt like typing something and this was the only thing I happened to have with me… Sorry, it's short, but it's a different perspective so hopefully that will be fun. Wheeeeee Shinigami! Hopefully I got them in character!

Prompt by **Keselyx Meeko Lyszerxon, **Story by **Xiana Asuka**, Death Note by God. Or _Ohba-san to Obata-san desu._

Suggested listening: Houkiboshi by Younha (Yunna). It's a spiffy song that was an ending to Bleach. And it's really energetic. It really has nothing to do with the chapter, but it's still a good song.

* * *

15. A Little R'n'R.

* * *

"Aren't humans such fun?"

"I don't see anything funny about the situation."

"Oh, right, I forgot how much you loooove humans."

"I do not love humans. If I did, how could I be a Shinigami?"

"Well, that girl at least."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Humans are dirty, polluted creatures."

"Oh, yeah, especially Light. But not your sweet, innocent Misa, right?"

"She is corrupted now as well, thanks to your boy."

"Mine…? Heheh… Light's not mine. He's in control. The only thing I can use him for is entertainment. Still, you wouldn't think of using _your girl_ at all, would you?"

"No."

"And just why is that? They are inferior, after all. Or do you love her so much that you see her as an equal?"

"There cannot be love without equality."

"What about that sick, twisted kind of love that seems to feature in those shows your girl watches all the time? Those 'soap' things?"

"That is not true love. What would you know of love, anyway?"

"Love is stupid. Only weaklings fall prey to it, and that makes you weak."

"You don't choose to fall in love. And sometimes, it makes you stronger."

"Yeah, maybe for a couple humans. Shinigami aren't supposed to fall in love at all. You're breaking the rules."

"You break the rules all the time."

"Never rules that'll get me killed. And you are going to die, Rem."

"It may be that you are the one who will die."

"I highly doubt that. I'm not stupid enough to fall in love with anything or break any rule that'll get me killed."

"What if you had no choice?"

"What possible leverage could anyone ever have over me? I may not know as much as you, but I don't have your same flaws. Isn't that really all that matters? One of us _is_ going to die."

"The humans have a saying, you know. They say it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

"I have a saying, too. It goes, 'Better to be alive than dead.'"

"Then it appears we have nothing left to say to each other."

"Appears we don't."

"Goodbye, Ryuk."

"Goodbye, Rem."

* * *

When Light informed him that Rem was dead, he had laughed. It served her right for falling in love with a human. Still, he couldn't really complain. It meant that Light would continue to entertain him, as he wouldn't have been able to if caught. 

In the end, he would be the only one left laughing. Ryuk never developed feelings for anything. Love was stupid.

* * *

Xiana: Well, that was exciting and really short. :( Oh well. I need to have more time so I can get some good writing done, because I haven't been able to write anything in a long time… even though I've just been updating like crazy… Weird. More stories coming soon? 

Reviews would be appreciated.

Next: Cherry (for reals)


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